Kindling
by SA100581
Summary: Begins after Edward leaves Bella in New Moon, but quickly takes a much different route!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: My first Twilight FF, so be gentle, though I do welcome all comments and suggestions.

Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own Twilight. :(

* * *

**BELLA**

My nightmares were pretty consistent in the months following Edward's betrayal and departure. They were never complete scenes, but they were filled with Edward's harsh woods and flashes of my time in the woods. _**My world is not for you**_. I could see myself curled up on the ground. _**Bella, I don't want you to come with me**_. _**You don't want me? No.**_ His face was also so cold and emotionless. I felt the cold and the rain. _**You're no good for me, Bella**_. I never felt fear, even though I obviously should have. I felt the sense of loss and loneliness, as well as desperation. _**I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back and put you through anything like this again. It will be as if I'd never existed**_. Yeah, not quite. A majority of my nightmares include Edward repeatedly whispering, "_**Time heals all wounds for your kind. I won't forget, but my kind… we're very easily distracted.**_" His face when he says this is almost always the most heartbreaking for me as it seems that he enjoys saying those words.

Charlie is taking the sudden disappearance of the Cullen's rather hard himself, though I know it's for completely different reasons. He's pissed that they left me like this, and that Edward managed to hurt me so badly. I saw it on his face when Sam Uley carefully transferred me into his arms that night. He would do anything to make the hurt go away. Charlie loved me. I hadn't ever been a very good daughter to him, not like I should have, and I knew this wasn't helping. He was the one to check on me at night, to comfort me after my nightmares turned to screams and tears. He didn't deserve this. For this reason, I had considered several times throughout the winter months if I should run away. I wondered what the odds of him finding me and dragging my _oh-so-grounded_ ass back here, especially given his connections with the police department. I had also considered the alternative – suicide.

I knew it would be the coward's way out. I knew that it would hurt Charlie immensely, but could really be any worse than what I was doing to him now? At least there would be closure, and he could at some point move on without me. I didn't think I would ever break out of this haze I was in. While I hadn't completely ruled it out, I wasn't ready to go through with it either. If I didn't have Charlie, and Renee, and Jacob to think of, it would have already been done… probably the day Edward left me alone in the woods to fend for myself.

It wasn't just Edward though. With my focus on him, it was easy to forget that _all of them_ left me. Alice must have known what Edward was up to, and she possibly even conspired with him and left the note for Charlie to find. I didn't know. _I didn't know because they all left me!_ Alice couldn't have ever been a friend, just like the others couldn't have really thought of me as a daughter or a sister. It just wasn't possible. For some reason they had all followed along in Edward's little scheme to fully deconstruct my life. I'll probably never know why they could all hurt me that way and just go about their merry way.

Sometime in February Charlie put his foot down. Not literally, of course, but he gave me an ultimatum. Charlie threatened to send me back to Jacksonville to live with Phil and Renee because of my current state. He was concerned because I hadn't spent much time out of my room whatsoever, and that I didn't 'hang out' with any of my friends. My _old_ friends actually, because I had barely said more than five words to any of them since he left. I told him that I didn't want to leave, and it was clear that he didn't know what to do with me.

Realizing that I didn't have any other options, I promised him that I would go and see Jessica soon, and that I would spend more time with Jacob. He looked skeptical, but he dropped the Jacksonville talk – for now. After school the following day I decided that I would take the first step and go visit Jake. He had been over a few times in the last few months, but I really hadn't been much fun to be around. When I pulled up to his house, he came out and smiled at me. His smile made me _want_ to smile, even though I didn't. _That was progress, right?_

I didn't want to overdo it, so I spent a few days a week at Jake's, and one or two days with Jessica. I realized that as I was spending more time with her and getting to know her better, I really didn't like her. She was kind of annoying and liked to talk a lot. I guess that worked though since I was pretty quiet. At least it kept Charlie off my back. Recently Jake had been more distant, but I figured I wouldn't want to be around me that much either, and just let it go.

One Friday night Jessica and I were walking out of the movie theater and I had the strangest feeling that I was being watched. I didn't want to look around and alert anyone in case it was true. I secretly hoped that it was Edward, or maybe even Alice, checking up on me or deciding to come back to Forks. It also occurred to me that it could be Victoria. I hoped that Edward knew what he was talking about when he left and that I was safe. _Was there some kind of vampire code that said she couldn't kill me now that we were broken up? Ugh_. Just thinking about that again made my stomach drop and I felt sick. Jessica was looking at me now, and I went back to playing along with this stupid charade. I just had to keep it up until school was over, and then I could go anywhere I wanted and mope for as long as I wanted_. I'm guessing my guidance counselor wouldn't exactly approve of my 5-year plan._

The days that followed were unremarkable; except that I still had that odd sensation everywhere I went. I tried to casually look around but I never saw anything (or anyone) out of the ordinary. I briefly wondered if I was now paranoid, along with being depressed and an insomniac, but really what difference does it make what I call it? So, I continued my activities as normal and figured he, or she, would turn up eventually. I just hoped it wasn't a certain red-headed _she_ that was out of revenge.

On Friday, I came home a little late from school and noticed Charlie's car already in the driveway. I was thinking about what to make for dinner later as I walked through the front door. I gasped and two _very, very_ bad things were immediately obvious. I realized now that that feeling wasn't my psychosis, but it was actually a sixth sense. I also realized that my father was… _gone_. Tears blurred my vision, but I could see that some of the kitchen cabinets were broken and bloody. There was a trail of blood from the kitchen to the living room. I took a few hesitant steps forward and saw my father's feet on the floor just past the end of the couch. I knew without going around the couch that he was dead. I could feel my heart racing and my breathing increased.

Again, while I knew that I should be afraid, I wasn't. I assumed this was my _fate_. After Edward killed James, her mate, I should have just gone to the woods and stood there with my head tilted giving her easy access. Edward isn't going to save me this time. _I'm alone_. Charlie's dead. I didn't know where Victoria was hiding, but I assumed she knew every move I made. Was she outside? If so, what was she waiting for? Was she upstairs? I noticed that my bedroom door was open, while Charlie's and the bathroom were closed. Let's just get this over with. I had considered suicide anyway, so what was the big deal, right?

"I know you're here. I'm not going to fight this." I walked up the stairs at a normal pace. I opened my door, closed my eyes, and made my way over to my bed. I laid down and waited. I didn't hear anything, but I felt _something_.

I don't know why she didn't say anything. I don't know why she didn't taunt me with her words, or tease me about Edward leaving me alone. I don't know why she didn't torture me or tell me she was doing this for James. I guess she didn't need to as long as she got what she wanted.

I felt her hair dangling down on me seconds before her teeth pierced my skin. _Oh, God._ _It's really happening_. It hurt just as much as when James had bit me, but it slowly increased in intensity as I felt the blood being drained from my body. _Ow. Ow! OW! _I don't know if I was saying these things out loud or not. Again, what did it matter? There wasn't anyone here to help me. Time stood still. She was extremely quiet as she took what was hers. Abruptly she let go and I heard what sounded like a hiss. I didn't hear anything then.

Her venom was spreading throughout my veins and it burned like hell. It felt like someone was holding a lighter against my skin from the inside, only it was everywhere at once. I clenched my teeth together, I squeezed the comforter underneath me, and I felt myself break out into a sweat. _Where the hell did she go? Why won't she finish what she started?_ Maybe this was the torture she had in mind? Or did she mean to change me and torment me for all eternity?

I thought about Renee and Jacob, and what the official story was going to me when this was all said and done. _Would anyone believe that this was an animal attack?_ There's no way the real story would be released. Would Jacob know better? _Why would he?_

I risked opening my eyes, and when I did, she wasn't in the room with me. It was dark out now, though I didn't know what time it was. I desperately wanted to go downstairs and be with Charlie. I wanted to hug him one last time, even though he couldn't return the gesture. I wasn't prepared to see what she had done to him, but I wanted so badly to be with my father. I tried to move my legs but I couldn't. The pain had a paralyzing effect and the venom was agonizing. The room seemed to be spinning and I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer.

When I opened my eyes the next time, it was lighter outside. Victoria was still nowhere in sight. My eyes and my throat felt like they had been rubbed with sandpaper. I still couldn't move my limbs, and the burning was just as intense as it had been before. Every now and then I heard a car traveling down the street. Even if I could flag somebody down, or make it to the phone, I knew that it was too late for me. I couldn't be saved. If Victoria didn't return to kill me, I would become a vampire. If I could have laughed at the situation, I would have. I was going to become a vampire, just like I had begged Edward to help me become. Now, without Edward, I was to face lifetime after lifetime alone_. Fuck. My. Life._

I didn't remember passing out, but when I awoke the next time the sun was full in the sky. I could hear some of the neighborhood children playing outside; blissfully unaware of what was going on in my bedroom. I wondered briefly how and when we would be discovered.

The next time I regained consciousness, it was dark again and my heart was racing. The burning wasn't as devastating, but I still couldn't move. I wished I had asked Edward or even Carlisle more about how long it takes a person to change. I wished I had asked more about what to expect. I still had the nagging question of where Victoria had gone and why she had stopped. For all I knew, she was just waiting for the sun to go down to come back. Thankfully I passed out again and couldn't fester on those thoughts for too long.

When I came around, the sun was again shining brightly. Too brightly. I winced and closed my eyes again. I was immediately bombarded by a lot of different things at once. I smelled a number of different things – soap, dirty clothes, food, and something very mouthwatering. I opened my eyes and could see things in much greater detail everywhere that I looked. The one thing I didn't hear was my heartbeat. _Oh._ When I sat up it felt as though I was floating. I realized that it must be over now. I didn't want to look in the mirror. I didn't want to see what I looked like. People could now ask me, "What are you?" _I was no longer a human being. __Shit._


	2. Chapter 2

**BELLA  
**

I knew I had to get out of here. I just wish I knew where I was supposed to go. I didn't know if I would ever be coming back here again, so I gathered what I had treasured most, along with bare necessities. I ruined a few things in the process as it was hard getting used to my new found strength. I took a few pictures of my mom and Charlie, some of me and Jake, clothes, and my laptop. I went to the safe in Charlie's room and took out the cash that was in there. Charlie had kept his savings there instead of in a bank. I never really understood why he was sort of old-fashioned in that regard, but today, I was grateful for it. I wasn't rich like Edward's family, so I would have to have money to find a place to stay and provide for myself.

In the back of my mind I registered the need for blood. _Gross_. I knew I had to have it, though I didn't have a clue how to get it. I was afraid once I went outside that I would run toward the first person I came to and kill them instantly. I decided I would wait until after dark to leave the house, unless circumstances prevented it.

I noticed my bloody clothes finally. Although I ripped them in the process, I managed to get them off and changed into something comfortable as well as inconspicuous. I was finally ready to go, but I _couldn't_ without saying goodbye to Charlie.

I went downstairs and stopped by his feet but didn't look over at him. I didn't hear his heartbeat. _Dad. I'm so sorry. So sorry. This was all my fault_. If I had never been dazzled by Edward, if I hadn't been so stupid when I thought someone was watching me, if – I had to snap out of it. My eyes went to his face and I was overcome with emotions. He looked peaceful. He looked like he was sleeping. I could see the blood on the collar of his work shirt, but otherwise he appeared unharmed. When I saw the kitchen, I had assumed that he struggled and was hurt in the process. I assumed since it was that bitch Victoria, that she had tortured him. I'll never know what she might have _said_ to him and caused him pain, but at least she hadn't been brutal in her assault. I leaned over him and pressed my face against the other side of his neck. I kissed his cheek and told him I loved him. I grabbed the picture of the two of us off the top of the TV, and walked out the back door.

Whether I knew from the beginning or it truly was a coincidence, I arrived at Edward's. _Not Edward's._ _Edward doesn't live here anymore. They left you, Bella._ I knew I couldn't stay here forever, but at least maybe no one would look for me here. I set my stuff down just inside the back door and took a deep breath. I immediately started laughing. _You don't need to breathe anymore, you idiot. You're dead._

I knew what needed to be done. I had to hunt. I wasn't sure if it was normal to go this long without blood, or if I had just so many other things on my mind that I could really forget about it. Edward and the others had always talked about how volatile newborns were, but I didn't feel that way. _Who cares what the Cullen's think, Bella? They fucking left you, and look what happened!_

I stepped outside and tried to figure out how and the hell I was supposed to catch an animal. _Was there some kind of vampire training I wasn't privy to?_ I've never been full of grace, so I was lucky if I didn't come back covered in mud with an empty stomach. I walked around a bit wondering if I was missing something. Shortly after that, I smelled something. I didn't know if it was an animal or a human, so I didn't take off running, but I did creep closer to the source.

A mountain lion was drinking from a stream. _Now what?_ The burning in my throat was severe now, probably because I was so close to it and not yet drinking it. I figured I should just attempt to catch it. At least no one was around to witness my embarrassing first attempt. _Here goes nothing._

I sprung forward with more strength than I knew what to do with and missed it by about 50-feet. _Damn._ It was so fast that the stupid animal hadn't even moved. Now I was behind it, which I figured was a good advantage to have. I sprung forward again and this time I landed right behind it. I felt a momentarily sense of guilt before my hands gripped it tightly and my teeth sunk into its neck.

The blood was amazing. _Seriously._ I thought I would be grossed out, but it was so good! I guess it was supposed to be, being that I'm a freaking vampire now; I just didn't know it would be that natural.

I was still unsatisfied after the mountain lion and quickly found two elk to fill me up. I don't know how long I was out there, but when I returned, it was started to get lighter. I knew I should get cleaned up and get out of the Cullen house before someone noticed me.

I walked past my stuff in the entrance way and into the nearest bathroom. I removed my dirty clothes, throwing them away, and then changed into another outfit I had brought from home. _Home. I don't have a home anymore_. I had no clue where I was going.

I still felt incredibly guilty and just… low… for leaving Charlie's body lying on the floor like that. I was so tempted to go back to the house and tuck him into bed, or to call someone to say that he was there, but I knew I couldn't, at least not without bringing suspicion on myself.

Instead, I started heading through the woods, without a destination in mind. My backpack was light on my back and I alternated between walking and running. I tested out my speed and my strength along the way. I fed when necessary, kept my eyes and my ears open, and wandered around.

Sometime in the late morning hours I noticed I was getting closer to civilization again. The road ahead had more traffic, and I saw one or two houses on the outskirts of town. The smell was more incredible than words. I assumed I was smelling people, so I mentally scolded myself for being such a… such a… _vampire_!

I didn't trust myself to go any closer to humans. I did not need to accidentally hurt someone. I would never forgive myself for that. How was I going to find a place to live without coming in contact with anyone? _Shit. Shit. Shit._

I stayed in the woods, keeping my distance from the town, as I walked further north. There were more buildings now – grocery store, library, movie theatre, bar, Starbucks, etc. There was a sign that included the city, which apparently was Ozette, Washington. I sat down in the woods to think about my situation. There was no way I could live so close to people. That practically ruled out renting an apartment or staying in a hotel. I needed a house, and a fairly secluded one at that.

I unzipped my backpack and removed my laptop. I was silently praying that I could either pick up the internet connection from the library or Starbucks without go any closer to town. As I waited, I thought about what I would do if this didn't work, and I couldn't come up with anything_. Aha!_ Thankfully the Starbucks connection was strong enough and I logged on. _What now, genius?_ I started searching real estate and classified listings for houses in the area. I found a couple that were relatively secluded, but I still didn't know how to legally inhabit one of them.

I wished I had a cell phone. One of the ads I had found in the online newspaper also listed an email address. Since I had all the time in the world, I set up an email account in a different name and emailed and inquired about the rental property. I wanted to go and check it out, but I didn't want to risk losing my internet signal. It said it was about a mile and a half off the road, and about 3-minutes from the center of town by car. I skipped over the bedrooms and amenities section because it didn't really matter. I could afford it for a while without finding another means of funds, and it was far away enough from people. Now if I only knew how in the world I was going to handle the transaction.

About an hour after I had sent the email, I received a response. The guy stated that it used to be his summer home, but they hadn't been here in the past two years because his wife passed away. He really wanted to sell it, but hadn't had any serious offers. He mentioned the town he lived in, and said he could meet me in either city, if I would like.

_What to do…?_ He had attached the rental agreement in the email for me to look over, but I still didn't have any way to print and sign it. He said he would need the first month's rent, as well as a security deposit. I wondered what I was going to put for an employer and references, if needed, but I figured I would come up with something.

I emailed him back and tried to come up with a convincing story. I told him that I was 20-years-old, that I had recently moved out of my dad's house, and into a motel here in Ozette. I told him that I didn't have a job or a bank account yet, but that I could pay for six months in cash. If that was acceptable, then I could meet him either tomorrow or the next day at the property. I sent the email and hoped like hell he would accept my offer. I had to lay it all on the line to avoid disappointment when he arrived. _Arrived. How was I going to keep myself from killing him?_

If he said yes, I would have to practice being closer to that sweet, sweet smell. I would have to test my own limits, figure out how and when to breathe, or _not breathe_ if necessary. I could only hope that the meeting was quick and that he didn't stick around any longer than necessary.


	3. Chapter 3

**JACOB**

I felt numb. I couldn't believe what they were saying was true. Bella and Charlie were dead? _No fucking way!_ I felt horribly guilty because I hadn't been around Bella in the last week. I finally understood why Paul and Sam had been acting so funny lately. They were werewolves! _I was a werewolf!_ _Saying that took some getting used to would be the understatement of the century!_

Friday night my dad suggested that I go and try to talk Bella into going to the bonfire with us. Sam was strangely eager to drive me to her house, and Paul tagged along. When we pulled up to her house, we noticed that it smelled awful. _Vampire_. I couldn't believe Bella had been doing… God knows what… with a freaking vampire! She knew what he was… what _they_ were… and she didn't tell me. _Oh, like you told her you were a werewolf?_

Anyway, we noticed the stench immediately. When she didn't answer, I figured that her _boyfriend_ must have come groveling back and that's why she didn't answer. At the time, it didn't strike me as odd that Charlie didn't come to the door, but we shrugged it off. We sat in the car about 15-minutes and didn't see any movement in the house, so we left.

I'll never forgive myself now for not going in. _Maybe then I would have been able to stop it from happening, or at least prevent one of them from dying. Did Bella really die?_ They say there was enough blood there that no one could have survived it, yet they still hadn't found her body. _Was the whole thing just an elaborate setup to get her away from Charlie without a fight so that she could become… one of them? No fucking way. Bella would never do that to Charlie. What if that bloodsucker of hers had decided not to leave any loose ends and came back to finish her off himself? Did changing someone even leave that much blood behind or was she really dead? Who would take her body then? Ugh! _

I hated not knowing. I wouldn't give up hope though. I wouldn't let myself believe that Bella was really gone. _God, I loved her_. She probably would have never loved me back in the same way, but she would have always held a special place in my heart. Sam warns me that I may imprint on someone, even though the Cullen's have gone, but I don't know if that's true.

For now, they're calling it a double-murder. They don't have any leads, or any idea where to look for Bella's body. The safe at the home was empty, but they don't know what was in there to begin with. The house looked pretty ransacked, but again nobody knows what might be missing. A couple of Charlie's co-workers had come by the house when he didn't show up for work on Monday morning, and since then all hell had broken loose. A double-murder in Forks was definitely big news, especially when one of them was the Chief of Police here and the other was a teenage girl.

I decided that I wouldn't give up on her until I learned the truth. I was willing to risk my life that Bella wasn't a willing participant in this. It just wasn't her style. I vowed that I would search for her, and hopefully, I would find her. Hopefully I would find her alive and well, but at this point, I just wanted to find her. I went back to the house, which was now a crime scene, and focused on the scents. Unfortunately, with all of the people that had been in and out of there since Monday morning, there were many. I focused on Bella's and started following it. It didn't take a rocket scientist to know that it was leading to the Cullen house. _God, I hope that she's innocent in all of this. _

**CULLEN FAMILY**

"I don't have to take orders from you. You can't tell me where I am and am not allowed to go, Edward! We've gone along with your stupid plan for long enough. I'm ready to go home!" Rosalie was furious, and extremely frustrated. She wanted to return to their home in Forks, and have everything be normal again. She wasn't as fond of moving as the other Cullen's were.

"Rose – " Carlisle attempted to calm her.

"I'm sorry. I tried to be considerate, even though he made a horrible mistake, but I can't do it anymore." She was glaring at Edward, who sat unaffected in the chair across from hers. The rest of the family watched silently as the two siblings butted heads.

"I did what was best for her. It was the right thing to do." Edward said calmly.

"Not that. You shouldn't have ever involved her in the first place. I _knew_ it would end badly. You didn't listen. Why do we all have to pay for your mistakes, Edward?" Rosalie was standing now, as her anger rose.

"We're a family, Rose, and we stick together," Esme tried - unsuccessfully.

"I'm tired of being stuck here. I'm going back to Forks. I hope that you all come with me, but Emmett and I are going and there's nothing you can do to stop us." She looked at Emmett, who even if he wanted to argue, knew not to mess with his sweetheart. He shrugged his shoulders at the others' questioning glances.

"Dude, she holds a mean grudge. I will _not_ be in the dog house because he wants to _brood _some more." Alice, Jasper, Esme and Carlisle glared at him.

"I don't want us to split up, but I can see that Rose is not going to relent here." Carlisle stopped, trying to figure out the best way to get through to his son. "Edward, won't you come back with us? Surely you can remain in Forks without alerting… _anyone_. We'll just say you didn't come back with us, if anyone were to inquire about you." Carlisle looked at him lovingly. The others patiently awaited his answer.

"I'm sorry, but I can't. I'm afraid I'll be… tempted to go see her, or that she'll come to the house to see you, or to see for herself that I'm not there." Edward looked down at his hands. "You go. I'll remain here until I'm more settled in my feelings."

Over the months they had watched Edward struggle with his decision. Alice had seen exactly what happened. She initially yelled at him for being so hurtful to Bella, and for not allowing them to say goodbye. While she didn't agree with his decisions, she knew that it was what he thought was best, and she tried to stand by him. The others had also expressed their hurt and anger about not being allowed a proper goodbye.

Edward thought that maybe some of those relationships could be repaired by them going back without him. They didn't have to miss out on Bella's life because he couldn't be in it.

It took four days to make the arrangements and finally get back to Forks. As they pulled into the driveway, they all had a sinking feeling that something was out of place. They got out of the car, careful of their surroundings. It was clear that a vampire had been here recently, one they didn't recognize, as well as the god awful dog stench, and… Bella's blood?

They spread out, each going in a different direction. Rosalie and Emmett went around back, quickly finding the back door had been broken. Well, more like ripped off the hinges, but that was beside the point. Alice had found muddy, bloody clothes in the bathroom on the first floor. It smelled equal parts Bella and vampire.

They met back in the living room after not finding any other traces. Their faces spoke volumes, but nobody wanted to speak first. The reality of the situation was setting in, but they were conflicted about what should be the next step.

Alice wondered why she hadn't had any visions. Even though she hadn't been looking for Bella, she would have thought something like that would have shown up, especially since something had clearly taken place here.

Rosalie had first felt smug, reveling in another 'I told you so' moment, but regretted it instantly. She had no reason to believe that Bella asked for this. She could have easily been in the same situation she had been in all those years ago. She sympathized with Bella, especially since she was most likely alone now.

Carlisle's mind was racing with all of the possibilities and the harsh reality of what they had to do now. "I'll call Edward," he said quietly and the others nodded. They all took a seat in the living room and waited while Carlisle broke the news, and Edward's fragile heart, yet again.

**EDWARD**

After Bella's disastrous birthday party, I knew immediately what needed to be done, although I didn't think I had the strength to do it. Breaking Bella's heart while looking into her sad, brown eyes had been the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Hearing her call for me as I left her in the woods had been one of my most cruel tortures to date. I truly felt like the monster I was accused of being. A soulless, heartless, _thing_.

Being away from Bella was extremely hard. I've thought countless times about going back to Forks. _I wanted to be near her, even if I couldn't be with her_. I had to keep telling myself that I was doing the right thing and that, in time, she would be better off. I knew she was hurting, but I had to remind myself that it was necessary.

I knew the others had the right to be angry with me about the way we left Forks. Carlisle had to give up so much, as did Rosalie who had apparently been more attached to the place than I realized. While I was glad they were going back, I couldn't help but wonder what that would do to Bella. She would surely be curious about my whereabouts, and most likely try to get information from the others. I knew they wouldn't give in, but it still hurt me to know that that reminder of me would be there. I hoped enough time had passed that it wouldn't be so bad for her.

I was lonely now that they were gone. Even though I hadn't been interested in most of what was going on around here, it had been a welcomed distraction from my thoughts and feelings. With them gone, everything was intensified and so much harder to bear, and it had only been a few days.

My phone ringing interrupted my downward spiral. At least it will distract me, if only for a few moments.

"Carlisle," I said simply, recognizing the number.

"Edward." One little word was enough to alert me that something was very wrong. "It's Bella." Two words was all it took to get me moving. "You have to come home. Come _here_ as soon as you land." I grabbed my essentials and walked out to my car on the way to the airport. I assured Carlisle that I would be there as soon as possible, even though I wanted to ask, his tone told me I didn't want to know quite yet.


	4. Chapter 4

**ALICE & JASPER**

After Edward had been called and we knew he was on his way home, we decided to go by Charlie's to see what we could find out. If we ran into him, we would tell him that we were just in town briefly to visit and pick up some more belongings. Of course our main goal was to find out what he knew about Bella, and where she might be.

As we neared the house, we knew immediately that we would not like what we found. The house was covered in that atrocious yellow crime scene plastic. The front door had been broken down. We could smell blood, not all of which was Bella's, so we assumed that Charlie was involved as well. To avoid being seen and raising suspicion, we quickly turned back and called Emmett on our way.

**EMMETT**

I hated just sitting around waiting. _I want to do something_! Instead I'm stuck here twiddling my thumbs while Esme and Rosalie set about pulling the sheets off the furniture, freshening up the house, as well as unpacking the belongings we brought with us. Carlisle was checking with his connections, to see if anyone had heard anything. _If_ Bella had been turned, it was possible that the vampire responsible had spoken to someone about it. Alice and Jasper volunteered to scout out the Swan place, so that left me sitting here like a _dumbass lump_ on the couch. My phone rang, and I picked up quickly seeing Alice's number.

"What did you find?... Alice?" I sat up and waited for her to answer me. Esme and Rose came in the living room upon hearing everything thus far.

"It's not good, Em. Blood, police, and crime scene tape, and we didn't even make it to the yard." I noticed Rose and Esme look at each other with sad, worried faces. "Go online and see if you can find anything. Small town like Forks, it seems like it would make the news". I could hear the tension in her voice, and quickly walked to the computer. I pulled up the Forks newspaper website and gasped.

"Oh no," I said as the website loaded. Pictures of Charlie and Bella were right there. "It's here, "I said simply. "It _says_ they were both murdered sometime Friday night," I took an unnecessary breath before continuing, "but they didn't find Bella's body."

Alice, Esme and Rose all gasped about the same time. We all looked at each other. Although we still didn't know the vampire responsible, it was suddenly undeniable that someone had killed Charlie, and then turned Bella. The who and the why weren't answered, but we knew we had to find her. Of course we wanted to be there for Bella, but a _very_ newborn vampire that doesn't know the rules can quickly become a liability and draw attention from the Volturi.

Alice and Jasper had made it back and we were now all together in the living room again. Alice felt guilty for not seeing any of this. We all felt like she let Bella down. Carlisle felt remorse for leaving her here unprotected, as well as anxious about the potential threat she posed. Rose still felt badly for her, and Esme wanted to comfort her. Poor Jasper felt everything and did his best to absorb it all and help in the best way he could. Charlie's funeral was scheduled for Friday, and although we were tempted to go and pay our respects, we weren't likely to be welcomed there.

We all thought about how Edward was going to take the news when he arrived tomorrow, and what he was going to want to do about it. As soon as she was found, he was going to want to kill whoever was responsible for doing this to her. We all just hoped that we would be able to hold him back and help him make the right decisions this time around.

**BELLA**

Mr. Finnegan, the home owner, had been very receptive to my plan. I had spent all of Monday and Tuesday testing my limits. I had crept closer and closer to that road, first while holding my breath, and then taking small breaths. It took an enormous amount of restraint not to fly off in that direction after the source, but I knew I did _not_ want to do that. Restraining from following my instincts was extremely difficult. It made my throat burn intensely and my chest hurt. I fed on animals to the point of being extremely full and that did seem to help.

By Tuesday afternoon, I had gone to the address and took a look around. While it wasn't exactly a breathtaking cottage retreat, it wasn't fugly either. It was single story, and a relatively small home, but it was set back in the woods like the ad promised. There was a lot of brush and debris around, but that could be easily remedied. The windows had been boarded shut, but I knew it really didn't matter what it looked like.

Mr. Finnegan arrived at dusk Tuesday night. I watched from a distance as he pulled up to the house and let himself in the front door. I waited a few minutes and let myself breathe in his scent. When I was satisfied that I could approach the house, I did so slowly. I put the backpack on my back hoping that it made me appear young and innocent, and I also put on the sunglasses. I concentrated on walking normally and glancing around as if I was seeing the place for the first time.

He poked his head out and smiled at me. I smiled back and wondered if I could dazzle him without even trying? I still didn't even know what I looked like. He greeted me and I went in behind him, silently praying that he was alive when this whole thing was said and done. Again, if I had been alone, I would be laughing right now. _A vampire praying to God to have the control not to kill this poor old man? Probably not a common occurrence, I'm sure. Okay, Bella, focus._

Just thirty minutes later I officially had a home again. Mr. Finnegan had left in one piece, and he didn't look spooked at all. I did a little happy dance in my head as I congratulated myself for my self control. I gave him the six-months rent as agreed, as well as the deposit, and promised him that I was looking for work. He didn't seem concerned with my lack of employment, which I was grateful for. We made an agreement that I would just mail him the rent checks since he wasn't in town very long. He asked that I give him notice if or when I planned to move, but other than that, he didn't have any rules. He even allowed me to paint or landscape if I was so inclined.

Now that he was gone, I allowed myself to finally take a look around. The front door opened into the kitchen, dining and living area. There was a refrigerator, stove and microwave, though I had no use for those items now. There was a small, round table and two chairs for a dining area, as well as a couch and end table. The presence of some furniture made it feel more normal, although I would never really need those things. The bathroom was in the center straight ahead, and there was a bedroom on each side of it. I would look in those rooms later.

As silly as it was, being inside the house made me feel safer, and finally gave me the opportunity I needed to let everything wash over me. I sat my backpack down on the end table, and curled up on the couch. I grieved for Charlie. I worried about Jacob and Renee. I even briefly wished for Edward and his family, before the anger set in and I pushed it away. I figured there would be time for that later…

I didn't move from my position on the couch all night. In the morning I ventured out so that I could hunt, and when I came back, I made quick work of the yard. The speed was definitely something that I enjoyed. In no time at all, all of the brush, sticks and garbage had been removed from the yard. There was a funny smell around the property. I wondered if I was supposed to somehow dispose of the animals I had killed so they didn't rot? _Too bad there wasn't a Vampire Life for Dummies book that I could purchase._ I had also removed the boards from the windows so I could look out. Aside from the cars moving on the road, I hadn't sensed any people. I never fully let my guard down though, but I was glad for the distractions that the house provided.

I found cleaning supplies under the kitchen and bathroom cabinets, so I also took the time to make the house spotless. The cleaners reeked and were way too pungent, but I would get used to it. I placed the picture of Charlie and me on the end table in the living room. I wished that I had brought more from home to fill the place since I was going to be here for… how long? _How long could I afford to stay here? What was I going to do when the money ran out?_

I would eventually need clothes, books and things to keep me occupied, home supply stuff and décor to make this feel more like home. _How was I going to do that, too? _I really needed a way to charge purchases so that they could be delivered here. _I also needed a freaking cell phone!_ Vampire or not, I was still a teenage girl, and I don't know how I made it this long without one.

**JACOB**

Once I figured out which one was hers, I followed Bella's scent easily enough. She had apparently gone from her house to the Cullen house. _Gah! Were those filthy leeches involved in this?_ I kept telling myself that Bella didn't ask for this. Her scent was stronger around the house, but still faint. She clearly hadn't been here very long.

I walked and walked, sometimes smiling to myself. Bella's trail almost went in circles at times, and it was fairly obvious that she was indeed wandering. _Leave it to my Bella to be a vampire and still get lost in the woods._ My smile quickly fell as I thought about her being one of them. I wouldn't believe it until I saw it for my own eyes.

Later that night, I came upon an area that smelled strongly of her. I didn't see her or any of her things around, but her scent was _everywhere_. I found a couple dead animals and shuddered. I didn't want to think about her doing that _either_.

I continued to follow her trail, which eventually led me to a small house. I kept my distance not knowing if she was in there alone. I watched curiously as an elderly man pulled up, got out and went inside. _What the hell did he have to do with Bella?_ He was human, I was sure of it.

_Bella._ My heart was beating frantically and I thought that she might be able to hear it. I crept back quietly hoping that I was far enough away from her, yet still able to see the house. _She was beautiful. I've always thought so, but it was more pronounced now._ She still looked very much like my Bella, only her skin looked paler and she hadn't tripped once. I watched as she approached the house, smiled at the man in return, and went inside. _What the fuck?_

I was tempted to barge in and save her from him. As ridiculous as it sounded, that's what my gut told me to do. _It's Bella. She's weak. She needs you._ Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he emerged unharmed. She was in the doorway and seemed to be alright herself. _What was she doing here? Was she waiting for someone?... for him?_

I sat down and waiting to see who would be coming for her. It was a long night, but completely uneventful. She hadn't left, and no one had shown up. In the morning, I watched in shock and awe as she ran around and cleaned up the place. She was so fast and strong. It was like watching a sci-fi movie or something. It was unreal. She looked so sad and I desperately wanted to approach her. To comfort her. _Would she recognize me? Would she try to kill me?_

_It's Bella, you dumbass. Go to her._ Eventually, I did just that.


	5. Chapter 5

**JASPER**

I heard Edward's car speed into the driveway and seconds later he was in the living room looking at Carlisle expectedly. He was anxious, worried, and in so much pain already. Carlisle motioned for him to sit down, and he did, warily.

"Edward, something's happened to Bella. It -," he paused and looked him in the eye, " - son, it appears as though someone killed Charlie and then turned Bella. She's one of us now." I was immediately bombarded with anger, fear, longing and much more pain. I felt Alice place her hand in mine for comfort. Edward's face was twisted in pain but he hadn't said anything yet. His hands were gripping the side of the couch so I wasn't surprised when I heard the snapping sound.

"Who?" Edward said simply.

"We don't know, Edward. The official story is that they were both murdered. Nobody knows what really happened," Edward looked at him quizzically then.

"Won't she tell you?" Edward seemed confused.

"Edward, we don't know where Bella is now. Her transformation was probably completed by Monday but nobody has heard or seen anything since." Carlisle felt intense guilt and sadness. I tried to calm him and give him the strength to finish this conversation.

We all watched as Edward stood up quickly sped out the front door. None of us were stupid enough to try to stop him.

**BELLA**

I had just finished cleaning when a couple of things happened that put me on high alert; that stench was noticeably stronger, and I had heard a twig snap outside. I snuck a peek out the front window, but didn't see anything. _Maybe it was an animal?_ It smelled like an animal, but not one I was familiar with yet. I was thinking about my next step when I heard it.

"Bella?" _Oh my god. Jacob!_

I instantly opened the front door and took a couple steps outside. I didn't see him. _Was this some kind of trick? How could he have found me so quickly?_ I stepped back so that I was standing in the door way, but I hadn't yet closed the door.

"Jacob?" I said quietly. _Maybe I was imagining things? _No, I heard more rustling now. "Jake?" _Why wasn't he saying anything?_

"Bella, is it okay, I mean – can I come closer?" I still couldn't see him. _He thought I might hurt him?_ I would never hurt Jake. _Oh_. He must know what I am. _How did he find out? _

I inhaled and found that I didn't smell him. No human blood. _Huh?_ If Jake was really here, why wouldn't I smell him? _Oh._ His heartbeat. Of course. I focused on listening, and I heard it. It was very fast_. He's scared._ Jacob is scared of me. _Shit._

"Jake. It's okay. Where are you?" I watched as he hesitantly stepped closer to me. He looked at me lovingly, yet I could sense his fear. He was even more beautiful than I remembered. Seeing him made me miss Forks, and Charlie, that much more.

"God, Bella. Are you okay?" I looked at him and saw his concern. "I'm sorry, Bella. I'm sorry about Charlie. Who… did he… did they…" I could see he was struggling. The time would come to tell him everything, but right now I just needed to be close to him.

Without thinking, I ran toward him. I really wanted to wrap my arms around him. I stopped abruptly. "Can I… will you...," I let out an exasperated sigh.

"Bella, come here." He held his arms out and I let him hold me. I felt his involuntary shudder as our skin touched. I concentrated on not squeezing him too tightly, though I was glad he wasn't returning the favor. Jake's bear hugs were the best!

"You… that smell…?" I said as I frowned and stepped back from him. He smiled at me.

"We have quite a bit to talk about, Bella. Can I come in?" He said almost shyly.

I nodded and he followed me inside. I realized that this was going to be a lengthy story since he didn't know anything about James, Victoria or Laurent. I would have a lot of explaining to do. I knew he was going to make me talk about that night, and what happened afterward. At least I didn't have to worry about blushing or crying in front of him. Those embarrassing little quirks of mine were no longer.

We spent the next few hours being completely honest with each other. I was totally shocked when Jake told me what he and the other boys had become. He explained why he smells so awful, and explained that it was mutual. He told me that the pack had taken out a vampire fitting Laurent's description. He vowed to search for Victoria and notify me if she returned.

He told me how he had heard about Charlie and me, and that he was immediately suspicious. He expressed his guilt about not doing more to check on us that night. I reassured him that it was only a matter of time before she came after me. _I wonder if that was why she stopped abruptly? Maybe she hadn't meant to change me after all?_ The presence of three wolves in my driveway might have been enough to spook her. He hesitantly told me that Charlie's funeral was on Friday. I was glad he wasn't keeping anything from me, but it hurt so much to know that I couldn't be there.

He offered his support, as well as that of his family, even though we were technically supposed to be enemies now. He explained that had I ever voluntarily become like this for Edward, things would have been different. I hadn't asked for this, and I clearly didn't want to hurt him, so he saw no reason why we still couldn't be friends.

He gave much the best kind of help I could ask for. He could go into town for me! I gave him some money and he went to get some groceries (he was starving apparently), gift cards to various companies so that I could make purchases online, and a cell phone. _Thank God. I love you, Jacob!_ He also explained that Charlie, in the event of both of our deaths, left the house to Billy. He said that he could explain everything to him, and they could pack everything up and bring it to me, as well as sell the house for me. I hugged him so hard that time that he had to ask me to stop squishing him. I giggled and he stared at me. _Oh yeah, apparently my voice was different?_ It still sounded like me, somewhat, but it was… somehow more beautiful. Being a vampire had enhanced my voice, much like it had my gracefulness (or initial lack thereof).

I was sad that night when Jacob left, but I knew I would see him again soon, and he had helped me in more ways than one while he was here. I was glad that I at least had one person in the world that I could talk to, who knew me as Bella, and not _Bella the vampire_.

**EDWARD**

I knew something was very wrong when Carlisle called me, but I was _not_ expecting this. My beautiful Bella's life had been taken away from her, as had Charlie's. Bella was now like me. _She was alone_. I couldn't fathom the amount of pain and fear she had felt and then to have to abandon everything to go… where? _Where could she be?_

I first checked out the cemetery. A lot of people had gathered for Charlie's funeral. I wouldn't risk going any closer and risk being seen, but I would come back later to pay my respects.

Since everyone was at the cemetery, I went to check out the house. I went in through the back door and it was a lot to take in. The kitchen and living room had a lot of blood and some damages. I had to swallow the venom that pooled in my mouth. Even though it wasn't fresh, the smell of human blood still affected me.

I slowly made my way upstairs to her room. The smell of her blood was strong here. I opened the door and saw the stains on her bed. _The bed where I had held her and watched her sleep. The bed I had watched her dream._ It was clear that she had lost a lot of blood. I could understand why the police had decided that she was dead.

I noticed that some of her things were missing, but I still didn't know where she might have gone. I didn't think she would have gone to Renee, for the risks of hurting her if nothing else. _Maybe Jacob knew something?_ Now that I thought of it, I didn't see Jacob at Charlie's funeral. I closed my eyes and scanned the faces quickly in my memory again. _He wasn't there._ Jacob must have known something or he would have not missed it. I would sure of it.

_What the hell could I do about it?_ I couldn't set foot on his land without causing war with his family. I decided to go out road leading to La Push. Hopefully I would catch him coming or going. As I did that, I realized what a stupid idea it was. Even if he knew where she was, he wouldn't tell me. He despises me, and I can't say that I blame him. _Look what I did. _Bella would still be alive if I hadn't been weak and given into my urge to be with her. _Her blood is on my hands._ I waited anyway, and very late I watched as Jacob turned to go home. It didn't take me long to realize that he was truly one of them now. _He smelled awful._

**BELLA**

Jacob emailed me when he returned safely. He told me that Edward and his family had returned to Forks, and he could only assume it was because they had heard what happened. He promised he wouldn't tell them anything, and although they were going to go ahead with packing up and selling the house, it might be awhile before he could visit again. He didn't want to take a chance on them following him.

Anytime I thought of Edward or his family, I got extremely angry. I was usually able to calm myself down fairly quickly, but I didn't know what I would do if one (or all of them) found me here. At the same time, I didn't want to risk losing this place and continuously running from them either. I also had worried about Victoria. If the Cullen family had learned of what happened, surely Victoria had also. _Would she come back to finish what she started? _

By Monday the first of my expedited purchases had been delivered. I prepared myself for the smell as the delivery driver came up to the front door to deposit the boxes. I guess I had expected him to leave them at the end of the drive by the mailbox, but clearly he was more considerate than that. Luckily I had sensed him early enough to sneak out the door and further into the woods. It had been a few days since I practiced being around humans, and I hadn't fed in almost 12-hours now.

As soon as he left, I quickly went to get my things. It _almost_ felt like Christmas to finally have more clothes and things. I also had paint, curtains, books, a small stereo, slipcover for the couch, throw pillows, knickknacks, towels, washcloths, toiletries, and bedding for the full size bed I had found in the left bedroom. Although I knew I no longer required sleep, there was something comforting about going in there and being able to cuddle up under the covers.

After showering and changing into my pajamas, I finally gathered the courage to look in the mirror. I had avoided seeing myself until now, like somehow that would make all of this more real. When I first saw my face I didn't think it looked anything like me. My hair was basically the same, only it seemed healthier and less… blah. My eyes were that evil blood red that I hated so much. My skin was very pale, and almost radiated light. I hoped that once my eyes weren't so shocking, that I would be more used to my appearance.

By the time night fell, I had managed to paint the entire inside of the house and set up my new items. It felt better, more like home. I picked up the picture of Charlie and me again and started at it for hours.


	6. Chapter 6

**CULLEN FAMILY**

Early Saturday morning Edward explained what he had seen at the house, and that he knew Jacob was a werewolf now too. He couldn't be positive, but he highly suspected that Jacob knew where Bella was. He told us that he came from the north last night, so we knew we should head that way. It was possible that we would have two scents to follow – Bella and Jacob's, so we all decided to go.

It turned out to be a lot simpler than we had expected. We stayed well out of range as to not alarm her or alert her of our presence. We quickly booked motel rooms nearby and took turns watching the place. It was almost funny that she had somehow settled and found a place for herself so quickly.

By Monday morning we were sure that she was alone. We had only seen her come out to hunt or tidy up the place. She looked sad and each and every one of us had wanted to show ourselves and talk to her. Edward was the only one that hadn't taken a shift. We didn't want him alone with her out there for fear that he would overstep the boundary.

Edward had heard the delivery driver's thoughts and knew he was headed for Bella's. We all convened in the woods in case things got out of hand. We assumed that, like all newborns, Bella would not be able to resist his blood. We saw her flee quickly behind the house and up into the woods and all felt immediately relieved. Her face when she brought in the boxes also brought us joy. She seemed happy or at least content with her situation.

Shortly after the delivery, we smelled paint and looked at each other curiously. _What newborn takes the time to personally redecorate their house? Even human Bella wouldn't have done something like that in a time like this!_ She should be tormenting the town and killing as many people as possible being this close. Of course that wasn't what we wanted by any means, but that's just how it works when you're recently changed. The urge for blood is so strong that it outweighs everything else.

We all crept back to the motel and decided that we would go see her today. Hopefully it would turn out well and we could finally have the answers to this mystery, and all be together again.

It took some debate to decide who should approach the house. We didn't all want to barge in on her, nor did we want any of us unattended in the event that she attacked. We were astounded by what we had seen so far, but she couldn't be that in control all of the time. Seeing us was bound to bring up a lot of emotions. For this reason, it was finally decided that Carlisle would go. He was calmer than the rest of us, yet strong enough if something happened. Alice and Edward weren't exactly thrilled with the decision, but they agreed.

**BELLA**

I went outside and threw the boxes and packaging into the trash can. On my way back in I was suddenly aware that someone was there. I flattened myself back against the house and waited to see who was there. I heard him before I saw him.

"Bella, it's Carlisle," he said as he slowly stepped into view. He was walking closer to me, but stopped a good 30-feet away. "We're all here," he said and I looked up to see the others further back, double the distance from me to Carlisle.

"Go away," I said between clenched teeth. I could quickly feel my anger rising. The half a glance I had made in Edward's direction had pushed it up rapidly.

"Bella, do you remember us?" Carlisle said, and I laughed maniacally.

"Carlisle, I think we should leave," Jasper said suddenly. "She's very angry. I've never felt something this strongly before." He appeared very tense. His arms were against his sides and his fists were clenched tightly. _You don't know the half of it, asshole._

"Bella, it's okay. We want to help. We still consider you family," Carlisle tried again, and I couldn't hold back my laugh.

"Family? You're not my family. You abandoned me and left me to fend for myself? I wish I didn't remember you." I said bitterly. My rage was increasing. I could feel it, and I wanted to calm down before… _something_ happened. I didn't know how.

"Bella -," it was _him_. _How dare he try to reason with me_!

"_YOU!_ Don't even get me started on you! _You left me_! You didn't want me! You told me I was no good for you. You promised that it would be as if you never existed! If that were true I wouldn't be a _freakin' vampire_!" I paused briefly as I watched Jasper bend at the waist in agony. "Charlie's dead and we're all to blame. You should have just let James kill me! I'd rather be dead. Go away. NOW! If I ever see you here again I won't be responsible for my actions. Consider yourselves warned," I was shaking with rage. I tried to take deep breaths. I tried to think about something else. Jasper was on his knees now, clearly taking in all of my emotions, along with the others'.

"Jasper?" Alice _finally_ noticed that her husband was suffering.

"Go," he said in a growl. They all looked at him, and noticed that he couldn't hang on much longer. Reluctantly they all started walking away. I didn't look up as they passed.

It was probably only a good ten minutes after they left that I finally felt in control again. While I wished that I hadn't been so angry so that I could have told them off some more, I was glad that they left when they did. I seriously did not know what could happen if I let myself go.

**JASPER**

We made our way back to the motel in silence, though their emotions spoke volumes. I still couldn't believe how strongly Bella felt about us. She had been deeply hurt by our departure, but she was clearly over the 'wounded phase' and had moved on to 'pissed to the nth degree phase'. We quietly sat together in Carlise's room, and he broke the silence first.

"She's remarkable," he said quietly. The others looked at him like he was insane. "She had so much control. She's only a week old. She shouldn't have been able to do any of that." He seemed genuinely impressed.

"She hates us," Alice said sadly. "I guess I can't blame her. We left without saying goodbye. Because of her association with us, her father is dead and she's no longer alive." Alice leaned her head against my arm and I tried my best to soothe her.

"Victoria," Edward said much too calmly. He was feeling very guilty, and even more heartbroken that Bella hadn't wanted anything to do with him. She was rather cruel, but he felt as though he deserved it. I was taken aback that he had apparently said those same things to her to begin with. Edward never told us what he told her, just that we had to leave.

After an in-depth discussion, we had decided to go back to Forks. We knew where she was, and it would be easy enough to check in on her from time to time. At this point in her new life, she didn't want us in it. _We had to respect that._

Edward of course had to be difficult. He decided to stay in Ozette for now in case she needed him. He would never forgive himself if Victoria came back for her and she was alone again. _She didn't know how to fight_. She didn't know a lot about being a vampire. We didn't argue with him, except to tell him NOT to approach her again. She was very volatile when it came to her feelings about us, so we would have to tread lightly.

**EDWARD**

It was one thing to walk away from Bella believing that it was for her own good. It was quite another seeing her hate for me and my family while threatening us. I couldn't believe things had changed so much in just a matter of days. Bella would have never spoken to any of us in that way before. _You mean before her father was killed by a vampire who was seeking revenge against you? Before she writhed in pain alone for days?_ Yeah, she _should_ be angry.

I stayed away from her for four days before venturing into the woods surrounding her house. I noticed right away that there was a smoky odor in the air, but everything else seemed relatively normal. I saw her through the window every now and then. Her appearance still took some getting used to. She still looked very much like my Bella. Her beauty was only enhanced.

In the two weeks that followed, it became obvious that she had fallen into somewhat of a routine. She would hunt, work on the house, read, etc. around the same times every day. I assumed that gave her some sense of normalcy given her situation.

I longed to be able to hold her. I wanted to wrap my arms around her, to kiss her sweet lips, to be able to press my hand gently to her cheek. I wanted to hear her say my name. I wanted to hear her tell me she loved me. I didn't know if I wouldn't ever have those things again. _Bella hates me._

Over the course of the next three weeks, I watched from a distance. Bella never wandered very far from the house, though she had taken to greeting the delivery driver now instead of scurrying off into the woods. Although she could clearly go into town, she chose to be isolated and keep her distance from people. Again I took note of minor fire damage in the area, but figured it was probably just teenagers.

About a month after our disastrous visit, Jacob and two other guys showed up. They were also wolves. I don't know if she was expecting them or not, but she appeared genuinely happy to see them, especially Jacob. I knew I was scowling, but I didn't care. I hated that he got to be near her and I didn't. I occurred to me that he probably knew I was here. _Would he tell her? Would she come out and yell at me some more? _It would almost be worth it just to have her nearer to me.

The other guys seemed more wary of her than Jacob, who had hugged her, but they were friendly enough. They were unloading boxes and things that I assumed had come from Charlie's. Alice had told me that she had seen a for-sale sign so I figured she must have had help. I admired her strength and courage to be making a life for herself again.

About two hours after they had arrived, the two other boys left in the truck. I heard Jacob tell them that he would see them later. He clearly intended to stick around for a while and then head home on foot.

Jacob sat down on the ground with his legs crossed. I watched as Bella sat next to him. She sighed and he wrapped his arm around her. My mind was screaming _mine_, but I knew that wasn't true anymore. _I would always be hers, but she didn't want me anymore. _

"How are you doing, Bells?" I heard Jacob ask her.

"I'm adjusting, I guess. I wish I could talk to Renee. I wish I could visit Charlie. I don't like being so alone all the time, but I'm glad that we've been keeping in touch, and that you're here again. I can't thank you enough for all your help since…" she stopped talking and was now fiddling with her hands.

"Hey, you could totally kick my ass now, so I want to stay on your good side." He was smiling at her and she gave him a small smile in return. It was the first time I had seen her smile in months. I found myself feeling jealous that it hadn't been for me. "Speaking of which, have you heard from any of them since?" She had clearly told him about our visit. He looked up and was looking right at me. _So he did know I was here_.

"No." I was hoping for more. I wanted to know what she was feeling, what she was thinking, what I could do to improve this friction. I watched as Jacob scanned the woods from the far left to the far right. _What was he looking for? Maybe he was wondering if I was alone?_

"I see you've been practicing. How's that working out for you?" His thumb was now rubbing the front of her shoulder. _Oh how I wanted to rip his head off! What the hell was he talking about though? Practicing what?_

"Better, actually. It's more focused now," she said as she leaned her head on his shoulder.

"That's good, Bells. I'm glad. I knew you could do it." He said proudly. "Is there anything else you need before I leave?" She shook her head no. "I'll email you when I get home again, okay?" She just nodded her head. "Bells?" Jake was also concerned about her sudden quietness.

"It's nothing, really," she said quietly as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "Thanks for being such a good friend, Jake."

"I'd do anything for you, Bells. You know that," he placed a quick kiss on her forehead and then took off into the woods.


	7. Chapter 7

**EMMETT**

Eddie's going to groveling for a long time to get that one back. _Man, she's pissed_. _I've never seen Bella so angry before_. I thought about Bella and how much things have changed since we returned to Forks. I was always cool with her joining the family, human or vampire. She's got a pretty sassy sense of humor, keeps Edward on his toes, and her klutzy tendencies were so entertaining. It was never dull with Bella around. It seems like that's all gone now. She didn't even act like she loves poor Ed anymore.

We teased him a lot, especially me, but I was really hoping that this was his chance to finally be happy. Of course, at first, we all thought that he was fucking nuts! _Trying to mate with a human_? Only Edward would be so screwed up to do something like that. It wasn't bad enough to spend so many years alone, but then he finds his mate and can't really have her. _Unlucky bastard!_

Even though Bella clearly wasn't interested in our help, we had taken it upon ourselves to look out for her. We were taking turns scouting out Forks for Victoria, or any other non-familiar scents for that matter. We were also monitoring the area between Forks and Ozette. Edward kept himself busy by checking out her house and the surrounding area without getting caught by Bella, who would no doubt be happy to rip him a new one if she found out. It also looked like Jacob and some of the pack were doing the same. We always kept our distance so we weren't working together or anything, but it was clear we had the same goals in mind – protect Bella and kill that bitch, Victoria. I hoped that either Bella or Edward got to do the honors, but at this point, each and every one of us had a motive to tear her to shreds.

I was going through the motions that had become so routine for me in the last few weeks, when three things happened simultaneously; my phone started to ring, I caught scent of the red-haired witch just as one of the wolves ran past me. _Shit. I'll never live it down if a wolf gets the bitch while I was lollygagging through the woods_. For now, I let the phone call go unanswered as I followed Victoria's scent. The sense of dread washed through me as I realized which direction she was headed: Bella.

**ALICE**

With the exception of Rosalie and Emmett, we had all been practically moping around the house since our upsetting ordeal with Bella. We had all been hoping that she really hadn't been turned and that we would find her alive and well, especially Edward. Jasper said he could feel the guilt and loathing radiating off of Edward. We took turns doing our best to look out for her, but really we felt helpless. We didn't know how to make it up to her if she would give us another chance.

I moved to Edward's room and looked at the picture on his desk. Bella had folded it to show just Edward because she didn't know how beautiful she was. When we left Forks, Edward had unfolded the picture and had it framed. It had been on display in his room everywhere we've lived since. I'm sure he knew that I came in from time to time, but he never called me out on it.

I missed Bella like crazy. I'm sure not as much as Edward, but it was a strong sense of loss. We had been growing closer, more like sisters than friends, and he had made us leave. I understood his motivation, but I hadn't agreed with him. I reached out to pick up the frame, and as soon as I did I felt the vision take control.

For some reason I couldn't see Bella. I hadn't had any visions of her since Edward severed the connection with her. What I did see was Victoria, and she was in front of Bella's house. _Bella!_

I called Edward first and let him know what to expect. I called the others one by one. Carlisle and Esme had been in town but were leaving as soon as possible. Jasper came running into Edward's room as soon as the vision started. Rosalie had been in her room. She rolled her eyes when I told her we had to go help Bella, but she left quickly. Emmett wasn't answering his phone. _Who knows what that dumbfuck is up to… unless Victoria had caught him by surprise?_ Jasper and I left shortly after Rosalie. I just hoped that we would make it in time. I knew Edward was with her, and that Bella wasn't so fragile anymore, but it was still a recipe for disaster!

**EDWARD**

When I saw Alice calling me, I tensed up immediately. _This can't be good_. She told me she saw Victoria in Bella's yard, and although she had no idea when this would happen, her visions usually took place sooner rather than later. I was conflicted. _Should I warn Bella?_ I knew she didn't want to see me again. I hoped that we would be able to get Victoria before she got that close to Bella, but given Alice's vision, that wasn't likely. I considered waiting until one of the others was here and letting them tell her, but my desire to be closer to her led me toward her house. I stopped about twenty feet from her front door.

"Bella?" I readied myself for the upcoming attack and waited for her to come out.

**JACOB**

I caught scent of Victoria near the cliffs. We knew from prior experiences that she tended to stick near the ocean, so I wasn't surprised. It was fresh. _I hoped like hell we would be killing a bloodsucker today! I couldn't wait to watch her die_. She deserves everything that's coming to her.

I sent the silent message out to the rest of the pack who would be on their way quickly. Embry had been near his house and I asked him to quickly send Bella a message warning her of the coming attack. I just hoped she would get it in time.

I was briefly thrown off track because that dark haired male Cullen was traipsing through the woods. _Idiot_. I refocused my attention on Victoria's scent and took off past him. I knew he was following me now, but I didn't care. He wanted the same thing I did when it came to Victoria, so the more the merrier.

**BELLA**

_Did he really think I didn't know he was out there?_ He may be over a hundred years old, but he can be really dense sometimes! His speed and stealth were no match for a ringing cell phone. _Did he think that my hearing wasn't as good as his?_ I wondered why he was there. I wondered how long he had been there. I wondered why he hadn't kept his promises. I wondered why I cared. _Ugh!_

I went into the bathroom and closed the door behind me. I sat on the counter and leaned back against the mirror. The small space, combined with the fact that it didn't have a window, gave me comfort. _Silly, I know, he could easily break down the doors, or the wall for that matter, but so could I. _

"Bella?" _Fuck_. So much for wishing he would leave me alone. I sat there for a minute trying to figure out how to handle him. Just then my phone alerted me that I had a message. I knew he would hear that, but I took the time to read it anyway:

**Incoming (Victoria, us, Cullens). Embry.**

That must be what Edward wants. He sure doesn't act like he's in any hurry. _Maybe he wants me to die?_ It would sure be a lot easier on him if I wasn't around. _Maybe that's why he didn't stick around to protect me in the first place? Shouldn't life be easier now that I'm a vampire?_ I didn't expect it to still be like some cheesy soap opera, that's for sure!

"Go away, Edward. I know why you're here. I don't want your help." I didn't move from my spot on the counter. I knew he would hear me.

"No, Bella. You don't have to do anything. Stay in here where you're safe. My family and I will deal with Victoria." I heard him start to walk away. _That jerk thinks that he can give me orders?_ I may have listened to him before, but not anymore. _He's got some nerve!_ I made it through the house and out into the yard in a flash.

"No! The days of you telling me what to do are over! I'm not some weak little girl that's going to cling to you for safety. I'm sure as hell not going to hide away in my house while you 'deal with' my problems! _She doesn't want you, Edward_. She wants me. Butt out!" I could feel my anger rising. He had kept walking throughout my rant, until he reached the tree line. He turned around so that he was facing me, and sat down. I expected him to look smug, like he had somehow won this one, but there was no emotion on his face at all. _Hmm._

_Was I mad now that he wasn't fighting with me? Did I want to keep fighting with him?_ I turned to walk back into my house when I heard Edward growl loudly. I turned around to see Victoria casually walking toward me.

"Bella. I can see the rumors are true," she said calmly. Edward had moved between us and was facing Victoria, who just smiled at us.

"Edward, go away! This isn't your fight!" I shouted at him as I placed my hands on his back and gave him a hard shove. He flew to the left of me, back into the trees. I really hadn't meant for that to happen, but I guess it worked. He stood up and growled, at me or her I'm not sure, before I noticed his family appear and restrain him. "You're damn lucky they showed up now."

Victoria was watching the exchange closely. She didn't look happy that she was outnumbered. Before anyone else had a chance to speak, Jacob and his pack appeared. Victoria was clearly uncomfortable now. I could almost see the wheels spinning in her head. No doubt wondering how to kill me and get away safely.

"I want to speak to you privately. I need a minute," I said confidently to Victoria. She looked at me curiously, but didn't say anything. I took that for a yes.

"Carlisle, take your family to the top of the hill," I looked directly at him and saw his confusion as well. "NOW," I shouted at him. I watched as they started moving. I could tell none of them wanted to comply, but they were. Edward was the only one that stayed behind. _Figures. Oh well, I warned him_.

"Jacob, you too," I said and he nodded. _At least somebody listens to me_ _without question_. The pack quickly went up near the Cullens. I had practiced with Jacob before, and I knew they wouldn't be able to hear from there. I took a small step back as she was watching them leave.

"Impressive," Victoria said sincerely. "Stupid, but impressive. You realize that I could kill you before they could make it over to us?" _God, she pissed me off. Why did everyone think that I was stupid?_ I took another step back without her noticing.

"I know. I wanted to talk to you alone, you know, before…" _before I kill you_. "Why did you kill Charlie?" My anger was building, but nowhere near full force yet.

"Why not?" She said. _I couldn't wait to kill her!_ I could feel my anger rising. _Keep talking, bitch._ Another step back.

"You planned to kill me. What good did it do to kill him first? He didn't deserve that!" The anger slowly turned to rage. _Almost there_.

"He was there. You weren't. I got bored while I was waiting," she said with a small smile on her face.

"Bored?" I asked angrily. _Bingo_. I smiled at her. My first full-fledged smile in a long time. Confusion spread across her face. I leapt backwards as I concentrated on my rage. My arms started to shake and I felt the warmth begin at my toes and spread upward, much like the flow of lava. I pictured it going up and out of my body. Her mouth dropped open as I growled furiously at her. My whole body shook… _and then she was on fire_.

* * *

**A/N: A flashback is next. I've hinted at things, but I know I have some explaining to do! :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**BELLA (FLASHBACK)**

Since I had been changed, thinking of the Cullen family, especially Edward, caused me to become extremely angry. I realized when it was happening, and I also recognized the various levels. There truly was a difference when it came to being irritated, pissed off, angry, enraged, furious, etc. I had begun to pay attention to my levels, and noticed changes in my body depending on my mood. When I got to a certain point, I could feel the heat building. Initially, I didn't want to push it. I didn't know what could happen if I let it go. For all I knew, I could literally explode. _That wouldn't accomplish anything!_

It also occurred to me that I might be able to use it to my advantage, and that it wasn't an indication that I needed anger management classes. One day I was outside hunting when I found myself in the sun. Instead of being fascinated with my skin, I was angry. Watching Edward like this had once been a beautiful thing, but now it pissed me off that he had ruined all of my memories of us with his lies. I knew now that they had meant nothing to him. I felt the anger build, and when I felt like I was going to explode, I let it come.

To say I was shocked with the results would be an understatement. The tree I was facing burst into flames. It burned fast and was extremely hot. I watched as it quickly burned to the ground, while not affecting the other trees and brush around it. _Huh. Maybe I had more than one ability?_ I didn't even know if I still had the ability to keep Edward out of my mind or not now that I was a vampire since we weren't exactly on speaking terms.

I emailed Jacob and told him about what I discovered. He thought it was cool, though he was worried about my safety. I told him that I would practice and make sure I knew how to control it. I couldn't take a risk accidentally hurting somebody just because I got mad. I wrote him periodically and wrote him about my progress.

I would take my laptop every now and then to where I could get internet access again. There weren't exactly a lot of sites out there about vampire abilities. _Duh!_ I did research pyrokinesis though, and didn't find out a lot about that either. Apparently it was just a term coined by Stephen King for his movie Firestarter. _I guess there really is some truth behind all fiction_. _I, of all people, should know to believe the so-called myths out there_. _I wonder how many other vampires out there shared my ability?_

Jacob and I had discussed what I would like to have happen with Victoria. He knew that I wanted to be the one to kill her if at all possible. If he saw that I was in danger, he would step in. We had an understanding. If and when I told him I was ready, he would back off.

**BELLA **

When the time came, that's exactly what he did. He had faith in me, unlike Edward and his family. It gave me an unbelievable amount of confidence to know that Jacob and his pack were behind me in this.

I watched as Victoria shrieked and burned. It reminded me of that scene from the Wizard of Oz where the helpless human, Dorothy, managed to take out the Wicked Witch of the West without even trying. It was a wonderful sight and I truly didn't feel any remorse. I had finally been able to take care of myself. I finally got revenge for my father. James, Laurent and Victoria could not hurt me anymore, and _that_ was an amazing feeling.

Without looking, I knew the others were shocked. Jacob knew of my ability, but had never actually witnessed it. I was a little surprised myself that it had been that easy. _All this time and that's it?_ I didn't want to deal with the Cullens, but I wanted to thank Jacob and the guys for coming for the show, and for trusting me.

"Jake, there's not a lot of seating, but you're all welcome to come in while I make you something to eat," I said casually as I walked into the house, leaving the front door open.

"Bella! That was amazing!" Jake came running in and grabbed me in a tight hug. "I can't believe you just did that!" He was beaming at me. "Thanks for letting us have a front row seat," he said teasingly. The other guys, and Leah, came in shortly after. The lack of furniture didn't seem to bother them in the slightest. _I was… happy_. For the first time in a long time, I didn't have this dark cloud hanging over me.

The pack stayed for a long time. They ate, the chatted, and I really felt like there wasn't any awkwardness there anymore. Jacob had assured me that they would follow his lead, but I wasn't sure the others would be so welcoming. I was glad that he was right.

When they left, the worry set in again. _Where had the Cullens gone? Were they still lurking around waiting until I was alone?_ I was tired. I just wanted to relax for a while. Unfortunately, they had other things in mind. I groaned rather loudly when I heard the knock on the door.

**EDWARD**

_I wished I could sleep, then I would know that today was just one horrible nightmare_. When I approached Bella's house earlier, I knew she wouldn't be happy to see me. I couldn't believe that she had spoken to me in that way. She was right in a lot of ways though. In the time that we had been away, I had come to realize that I didn't treat her like the equal she desperately wanted to be. I treated her like a child, although sometimes she had acted like one. I ordered her around, expecting her to listen without question, and I always assumed that she needed my help. _I just wanted what was best for her. Is that so wrong?_ I sat on the ground trying to think of the best course of action.

I thought she would change her mind when Victoria showed up though. _Did Bella have a death wish or what?_ I jumped in between them and she pushed me away. _Bella actually shoved me_. My family arrived then and kept me away from her. My jaw dropped when Bella ordered Carlisle to take us back. _She's ordering around Carlisle?_ The rest of us weren't even that bold. What was more surprising was that he listened. He was reluctant of course, but he did it. I refused, and he let me go. When she ordered Jacob and the pack away, I thought it was over. _Bella wanted to die. Bella didn't want us to intervene while Victoria killed her_. I should have run forward and saved her, but she didn't want to be saved.

I listened to their conversation. Bella definitely wasn't meek anymore. She was holding her own against Victoria. It was eerily calm though. Either one could pounce and it could be over in no time. Yet, there they stood, calmly chatting away. I noticed that Bella was furious, I even heard Jasper's strangled groans as he absorbed the emotions in the air, but I had no idea what Bella was capable of.

Hearing Bella growl was a life changing experience in itself. She was so confident, strong and powerful. There was no doubt that Victoria got the message… _and then she was on fire. _

_ Bella? Oh, God._

We all had our abilities, but this is what my precious Bella is capable of? It was amazing, but also very terrifying. I'd say we were all very lucky that day that she didn't burn the whole forest down, especially given that she was so new back then.

Then we were dismissed. She didn't want to see us. She didn't even acknowledge us as she turned around and invited Jacob's pack inside for lunch. _Lunch. Just like that. As if that hadn't just happened. As if she hadn't just quickly rid the world of the vampire we've centered our lives around for so long. _

The wolves shifted back into their human bodies. I watched as they talked excitedly about what had just happened. I watched through the open door as Jacob pulled Bella into a hug. I turned to look at my family then. Their faces mirrored my own. _Wow._

We made our way toward the house and scattered what was left of Victoria, just in case. We went back up the hill to talk amongst ourselves as we waited our turn. We wanted to talk to Bella, but it was obvious that she was going to be occupied for a while.

**EMMETT**

_Damn!_ Take charge Bella was _hot_! I loved the way she handed Edward his ass, stood up to Carlisle and ordered those damn dogs around. None of us could believe what she just did to Victoria. I had watched worriedly as Bella talked to Victoria. I didn't want anything to happen to her. They were just talking… _and then she was on fire_.

The whole thing was… _wickedly sexy_. I was brought out of my thoughts when a very perceptive Rosalie slapped me on the back of my head. _What the fuck did she have to worry about? She knew I was hers. Ohhh! Rosalie was jealous of Bella, huh? Way to go, little sister!_

**CARLISLE**

I couldn't believe we had just watched little Isabella so quickly and easily annihilate Victoria. When she asked me to take the family away, I feared that she wouldn't survive this. We could only assume that Bella didn't know how to fight, while Victoria most certainly did. Unfortunately we couldn't hear anything from our position on the hill, though Jasper's discomfort indicated that Bella was furious with her… _and then she was on fire_. It was… _brilliant_.

We watched the wolves leave and then made our way down to the house. I heard her groan when I knocked on the door. She knew we were here, and wasn't ready to have this conversation. I felt bad for troubling her with this after the day she's had, but it was necessary.

She let out an exasperated sigh as she pulled open the door. I looked at Jasper and he nodded, signaling that he thought it was safe, for the time being.

"Bella, I realize this isn't the most convenient time, but we need to talk." Carlisle said gently. She didn't say a word, but left the door open as she went and sat at the dining room table. I took the other chair while Jasper stood near me to gauge her emotions. Alice, Esme and Rosalie sat on the couch. Emmett hopped up to sit on a kitchen counter. Edward was leaning against the wall watching her closely.

Bella turned to look at Emmett. "I'd rather you didn't put your ass on a surface that I use to prepare food for my _friends_," she said coldly. Emmett slid off the counter with a big grin. He feigned fear as he slowly backed into the living area. Rosalie stood so Emmett could sit on the couch, and then she sat on his lap. Bella didn't smile or look amused.

"You handled yourself remarkably well, Bella. It must have been hard for you," he said quietly.

"Not really," is all she said in return. Her eyes were focused on mine, but her face and her voice were motionless.

"How did you discover you could do that?" She shrugged.

"I got mad one day, and I didn't try to calm myself down. I practiced on trees," she said flatly. I had noticed the burnt trees, so had Edward, but we had no reason to suspect that Bella was the cause.

"Do you have any other abilities?" She shook her head.

"Not that I know of." I just nodded.

"Edward, are you still unable to hear her?" Upon hearing his name, she tensed, but she didn't look at him. I did, and Edward shook his head.

"Interesting. It's rare for vampires to acquire two abilities. You're exceptional, Bella," I said and she scoffed. "I understand you must be feeling guilt, or remorse, or bad for what happened, Bella, but – "she interrupted me.

"No, I don't. Victoria got what she deserved. I'm only sorry that it didn't take longer for her to die," she said firmly. Jasper held up his hand to signal that I shouldn't pursue that any further.

"I'd like to look into your ability, Bella, with your permission of course. Hopefully I can help you to understand it better."

"Okay," she said quietly. She stood up and pushed in the chair, obviously giving us a not so subtle hint that she was done talking. Esme stood and put her arm around Bella's shoulder.

"Sweetie, it's okay to feel bad about what happened, even though she deserved it." Bella turned to look at Esme, releasing herself from her embrace.

"Am I speaking another language or something? I already said I don't feel bad about what happened!" Esme nodded and went back to her seat. Jasper signaled me again.

"She didn't deserve that, Bella. Esme loves you. You're angry with me, I get it, but don't take it out on her," Edward said sternly from his position against the wall.

"She left me too. You may have been calling the shots, but they followed you without so much as a goodbye. Don't tell me I don't have the right to be upset." She paused, closed her eyes, and took a few deep breaths. "It really doesn't matter anymore. Victoria's gone, so unless you know of someone else that wants to kill me, I think we can spare ourselves of these little meetings." She said as she walked to open the door.

"What happened to you?" Edward said in almost a whisper. "You loved… them. I hope you're really not as cold and unfeeling as you appear to be," he said sadly. Before the last word had left his mouth, Bella flew swiftly across the room and pinned him to the wall with her hand around his neck.


	9. Chapter 9

**JASPER**

Bella had Edward by the throat before we even knew she was moving. Although it was seven against one, we weren't completely confident in the odds should Bella decide to hurt Edward. Newborn vampires are known to be undeniably stronger than older vampires, but their uncontrollable urges generally make them easy to defeat. Bella didn't have that problem, so she had the advantage of the added strength, and her way cool superpower. Needless to say, we had to be extremely cautious.

Edward didn't fight her, and instead reached down to take her other hand in his. As soon as their hands touched, all of the anger left Bella. I held up my hand to signal everyone to hold still because something was happening.

Bella gasped and closed her eyes, but didn't release Edward. He was watching her intently, and was extremely confused. He looked at me, but I just shrugged. I didn't have any answers yet. I just prayed that we would all be alive and not crispy critters when it was all over.

Her emotions were changing quickly. Curiosity, thirst?, amusement, rage, wonder, love, yearning, lust, shame, guilt, fear, and intense sadness. Her eyes opened and she stepped back from Edward so quickly that she almost fell over.

"Bella, what just happened?" Edward said quietly. He was eager to protect and comfort her from whatever caused her to become upset.

"I saw everything… felt everything… that you - " she sat down on the floor with her back against the wall. "You lied to me. All of those cruel things you said… you heard me calling for you… all of those months I cried for nothing… I worried Charlie for nothing… I wanted to die." Bella now had her hands over her face.

"Bella, you read Edward's mind?... and somehow felt what he was feeling in those memories? Is that accurate?" She didn't remove her hands as she nodded. "Would you… how would you feel about…," he was anxious to push her any further. There were so many emotions going on in Bella's body right now, that I couldn't offer him any reassurance. Luckily she knew what he was talking about, and held out her hand to him. He placed his hand in hers.

She raised he head but kept her eyes closed. I knew that it was happening again. She felt adoration, fatherly love, and sadness. She opened her eyes.

"I think I only see the memories with me in them. I didn't see any memories from either of you that didn't include me," Carlisle nodded in understanding of what she had explained.

"It's fascinating, Bella. I'll look into this as well," she just nodded. She got up and wrote something down on a napkin before handing it to Carlisle. He nodded and we all made our way to the door. Not another word was said until we reached home.

**ROSALIE**

Of course Little Miss Perfect would have not one, but three abilities and I don't even have one? It's just not fair! _At least I'm still prettier than her_. I smiled to myself as we silently traveled back home.

She's had this entire family wrapped around her finger since Edward laid eyes on her. I warned them, but nobody listened to me. We would have never had the trouble with James, Laurent, or Victoria if Edward had left the annoying human alone. She uprooted our entire lives and I hate her for it. We're constantly forced to go out of our way to protect her, including moving several times in the last six months. _When were they going to realize that she isn't worth the hassle?_

While Edward and I weren't exactly best friends, I felt bad for the way she was treating him. I could understand why she was upset, but that didn't give her the right to be so mean to him. I have to hand it to her though, the way she handled Victoria was… perfect. I would never admit it of course, but I was a little bit jealous actually. Everyone was in awe of her now, and a little afraid.

The others might be buying her whole Ice Queen routine, but not me. She was totally in love with Edward before, so there's no way that just vanished. _They're both so stubborn!_ Edward just needs to suck it up and tell her the truth, then take his punishment like a man. _Emmett sure knew how to grovel when he's been a bad boy… mmm._ Anyway, they deserve each other, and whether she likes it or not, they belong together. The sooner she realizes it the better.

**BELLA**

After I was finally alone, I went out to hunt. I drank from the first thing I could find and made my way back to the house. I was too exhausted to be picky. _I briefly wondered if I could be an exception to other rules and actually sleep tonight_. It had been a long and intense day, and I was glad it was over.

I was having a hard time processing what happened. First my fights with Edward and Victoria, the brief happiness I had with Jacob and the pack, and then whatever it was that happened with the Cullen family. I groaned and flopped down on the bed, covering my face with my arm. _Why couldn't I ever just be normal?_ I didn't ask for all these quirks.

Then there was Edward. Everything I thought I knew about why he left was so wrong. He thought he was doing the right thing by leaving me behind. _I understood his intentions, but come on!_ The things he said were completely out of line. It didn't surprise me though because he was always trying to put me before himself.

I wanted to blame him to what happened to Charlie, and for what I've become, but I really couldn't. _I truly was a magnet for bad luck_. The van accident in the school parking lot and the would-be attack in Port Angeles had nothing to do with him being a vampire. The disaster with James may have never happened if I hadn't left the safety of the hotel to go straight to him. _He should have left me then because I was such a dumbass!_ Edward had saved my life so many times, but it wasn't his _job_. He left, but I can't blame him for what's happened, not completely anyway. I knew what I was getting into when I figured out what he was. He was constantly giving me the opportunity to say that I was scared or uncomfortable with his lifestyle, but I stupidly reassured him that I knew what I was doing.

_What am I doing?_ I'm supposed to be mad at Edward for putting us through all this unnecessary heartache, and for Charlie's death, and for my recently acquired vampire status. It would all be easy if I wasn't still madly in love with him. I let my anger take the front seat lately, but that's just because it was a lot easier than dealing with the pain and longing I felt. I probably would never love anyone else, and if I did, it would never compare to how I felt for him. I wanted Edward, but I didn't know how to fix this. I couldn't just accept his apology, offer my own, and pick up where we left off. I also didn't know if I could forget what he had done. Forgiveness, maybe, not I wouldn't forget. _How would I ever trust him again?_ I spent the entire night sprawled out on the bed trying to figure out what to do.

I didn't have long to think about my decision, because the next day an unexpected opportunity presented itself. I had finally gotten out of bed after a long night of thinking, and grabbed my laptop in search of internet again. I logged into my email hoping for something from Jacob, but I ended up with one from Edward. I wasn't exactly surprised. When I had written down my email address for Carlisle last night, I knew there was a chance that Edward would be able to get it – either from his head or he might have told him. Either way, he hadn't wasted any time in using it. I bit my lip and decided if I was ready to read it.

**EDWARD**

It must be true; I am a glutton for punishment. Bella didn't want anything to do with me, but I couldn't stay away any longer. Much like when I first saw her, my willpower is only so strong. It was severely strained all these months, but I dealt with it because I believed it was necessary. _What a fool I had been!_

The look on her face last night after I touched her hand was startling. She couldn't get away from me fast enough, but her eyes… they gave me hope. She knew the truth now. _Would it make a difference?_

She reacted so strongly toward seeing me the last few times, and somehow I always ended up putting my foot in my mouth. I didn't want to upset her; I just wanted a chance to explain myself. When she gave the napkin with her email address to Carlisle, I read it instantly. _Should I contact her that way?_ It would provide me the opportunity to think about what I wanted to say, as well as let her think out her response. It seemed so impersonal and cold. _Maybe I could just write her a standard letter and mail it to her? You really think you could wait that long?_ Well, maybe this email nonsense isn't such a bad idea after all. I ran my hands through my hair as I thought about what I wanted to say.

_ Dearest Bella,_

_ I apologize for sending my thoughts through an e-mail. My hope is that my impulsiveness will not interfere with the sentiment via this medium. There are so many things that I have wanted to say to you, but our encounters lately have lacked much meaningful conversation. _

_ I would like to extend my sincere condolences on the loss of Charlie. I know how much he meant to you, and how he would have done anything to protect you. Words cannot express how sorry I am that I was not there to stop that from happening._

_ I'm truly sorry that you were changed and had to endure that suffering in solitude. I know all too well what it is like and I wish I had been able to hold your hand in attempt to comfort you. While I was open about my displeasure in your desire to become one of us, I would have done it myself if I had known that it would transpire this way. I just wanted to keep you safe from harm and I thought I knew what was best for you._

_ I've come to realize that it's not my place to tell you what's best for you. While I'll always worry about you, I will respect your decisions instead of trying to make you see things my way. I realize I've been very foolish and old-fashioned, and that I don't know quite as much about relationships as I believed I did. Emmett has been very open in discussing his opinions about how stupid I've been. Please forgive me, Bella. I never intended to make you feel like I was somehow superior to you. _

_ You'll never know how much I wish I could take back the day I left Forks. It was by far the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Even if you never change your mind about me, please don't take it out on my family. You know we like to stay together, and they were doing their best to support my decision._

_ I don't know if you'll ever be able to forgive me. I want you to know that my feelings for you haven't changed. I still love you, very much so. I miss you, Bella. I want so much to be near you and to spend time with you. I miss seeing you smile. I miss hearing your laugh. I miss hearing you say my name. I run through the memories in my head constantly, but they're not enough._

_ I won't press you, Bella. If you would like to talk, I am completely open to any method of your choosing. I'll answer any questions you might have openly. Please don't see my willingness to stay away as lack of want… nothing could be further from the truth. Above all else, I want your happiness._

_Forever Yours,_

_Edward_

I stared at my message for probably two hours. I changed things here and there trying to make it perfect. Emmett would have teased me to no end for being such a girl about the whole thing. This might be the only chance I have to explain myself though, so I just want it to be complete. Finally, with a sigh, I hit send. Now all I could do was wait for a response that may never come.


	10. Chapter 10

**JACOB**

The pack's teasing was relentless. I couldn't even count how many times I've heard "_my vampire girl_" since I found Bella in Ozette. They thought it was hilarious, and it really didn't bother me. I knew what Bella and I were.

I'd been in love with Bella for years, but deep down I always knew it wouldn't work. My age, her relationship with Edward, me becoming a werewolf, and now her being a vampire. I've heard of vampires and humans, and I've heard of werewolves and humans, but I've never heard of a vampire and a werewolf. _I would not be the guinea pig to test those waters!_ I would always love Bella, but I no longer harbored any hope that we would ever be together as anything more than friends. Since she changed, I've slowly come to terms with that realization.

Now, I just wanted to be there for her as much as possible. Since she's not friendly with the Cullens, me and the pack are all she really has in his world. I would do anything to make it possible for her to reunite with her mother because Bella really needs someone right now. I hated that she was all alone in Ozette and that I wasn't able to visit more often.

Today I was glad to be making the trip to give her the good news – Charlie's house finally sold, so I was bringing her the money. It hadn't sold for what it was worth given the economic times and the fact that she wanted it sold quickly, but it would be enough to keep her worry free for a while anyway. I didn't email her in advance because I wanted it to be a surprise, which I know she hates, but I couldn't resist. I just hope she didn't playfully hit me like she did the last time because _that shit hurt_!

**BELLA**

I got Edward's email almost a week ago. I wasn't making him wait on purpose, because Lord knows he's perfectly capable of torturing himself. I took some time to let his words soak in, as well as calmly come up with what I wanted to say. I had to rewrite things several times so that it didn't sound so hostile. I was glad that he wasn't pressing me for answers or showing up all the time. He was making an effort, so the least I could do was be civil. I figured it would be worth the wait just to make sure I didn't say anything rash.

**CARLISLE**

All of the research I found on vampires with abilities was less than helpful. There were mentions of vampires with one or even two abilities, but not three. Bella was definitely an anomaly. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing, although it might be overwhelming at times, much like Edward's mind reading. In time, I'm sure she would find ways to cope with the added input.

I sent Bella a message with my findings. I also had other questions for her. I knew she was around Jacob and the others, and I was curious if she had been able to read any of them. That would answer if it worked on werewolves. I was also curious if she had touched the human man that had rented her the house. If so, I wanted to know if he had any effect on her. That would answer if it worked on humans. The trickier part would be if it worked on all vampires, or just our family. Bella might be connected to us in a way that she isn't with the others. Hopefully she would get back with me quickly so we could figure out what to do next.

I was worried of what might happen if the Volturi found out what a treasure she was. Of course we had always thought so, but now her change had brought forth amazing gifts. The pyrokinesis wasn't documented anywhere that I found. That truly may be a one of a kind ability that the Volturi would most certainly want. I could only hope that with Victoria and the added attention to our area gone, that there wouldn't be any reason for them to visit us.

As for Bella, we all hoped that she would realize how truly sorry we were. I believed that if she were ever to resolve her conflict with Edward that she would warm up to us again. They needed to come together again before we had a chance of reentering her life. It was extremely difficult to see Edward so distraught. The months that we were gone was the hardest, but it wasn't much easier now that he was so close to her and yet so far.

**BELLA**

Jacob surprised me today. I was very happy to see him, not only because he's Jacob, but because I welcomed the distraction. It got pretty boring and lonely out here and I didn't have enough to fill my days with. I was glad that he was able to sell the house for me. It made me feel a little better knowing that I would be able to stay here for a while if I wanted, or now I had enough to be a little more selective. This place worked well for me though, so unless I needed to leave the area, I would probably be here for a while.

After he left, I finally decided it was time to send my email to Edward. I knew it by heart now and went over the words in my head constantly. I decided I couldn't make it any better, and clicked send.

**EDWARD**

_The waiting was driving me insane_. I've felt pathetic for waiting for a response that may never come. I've been obsessed with checking my email hundreds of times a day. I've needed so badly to hear anything from her. I would much rather it be a nice email, but anything would be a comfort at this point. _Maybe I did the wrong thing by not leaving her alone? _

I stretched out on my back on the couch. It was sunny outside and I could feel the warmth from the windows. It reminded me of laying in the meadow with Bella. I wondered if we would ever be there together again. Closing my eyes, I thought back on the feel of the breeze against my skin, the smell of her washing over me, and hearing her breathe. I missed the sweet scent of her blood, the warmth and softness of her skin, and the soothing rhythm of her heart. I was also miss the blush that stained her cheeks. My love for her hadn't changed even though she was like me now. It may have even increased given her strength and increased beauty. No matter what, she was still the Bella I loved. I just hoped she would be _mine_ again someday.

Since it had been at least ten minutes since I last checked, I opened my email. I sat up quickly when I saw that I actually had one, and that it was from her. With a less than steady hand, I quickly clicked it.

_Edward,_

_ Um, hi? I don't know where to start. I guess I should thank you for respecting my wishes. This was much easier than another surprise appearance or confrontation would have been. I think you're right about us being more honest this way. I probably would have said things I didn't mean if you were here, or not said some of the things I should have._

_ I do believe you when you say that you're sorry about how you handled the birthday thing. I know you were trying to protect me and that you thought you were doing the right thing. I hope you meant what you said about no longer making decisions about my life without me. _

_ Feeling everything that you experienced with me changed a lot. For months I not only believed that you didn't love me, but that everything we had shared was a lie. That's a hard pill to swallow, you know? Knowing how you feel makes me less angry, but it doesn't make it hurt any less. _

_ Speaking of anger, I'm sorry for how I treated you here both times. I was furious, unable to control myself, and I behaved badly. I'm not making excuses or anything. I just wanted you to know that my intent was not to physically harm you, Edward. I wanted you to step away from Victoria so you wouldn't accidentally get hurt. I still have a few kinks to work with these new superpowers of mine._

_ If we're going to be friends, or anything else, then we have to come to some sort of an agreement. You have to realize that I'm not a helpless child, especially not anymore. I think we've both changed a lot, even aside from the obvious. I'm still not convinced that your desire to protect me isn't stronger than your love for me. Your self-sacrificing tendencies seem to outweigh everything else. Because of that, how am I supposed to trust that you won't leave again?_

_ I guess the still unanswered question is "What now?" I don't know how to do this, or if it's even possible. Should we continue corresponding by email? Should we talk on the phone? Should we talk in person? While I'm sure you're tempted to say I can choose whatever I'm comfortable with, I'd like your opinion. What do you want? What would you be most comfortable with? I'd also like to request not to see your family for the time being. I'd like to figure this out with you without their influence or input, if that's possible._

_ Oh, and Edward? I miss you, too. I know I didn't act like it, but I do._

_ Bella_

After hearing from Bella I felt a lot better. Such a sense of relief since it wasn't filled with hate. I understood her concerns, and I would have to work on reassuring her of my intentions.

I read her message again. _Should I ponder more on the fact that she didn't say she still loved me, or the fact that she missed me?_ I guess it was better than nothing. _She must feel something for me if she missed me, right?_

_What did I want?_ Well, obviously I wanted to see her, but it would be a lot harder to resist touching her then. I didn't think I could handle waiting for another email though. I can't believe I had actually pondered regular mail initially. Telephone it is then. I didn't want to see too eager, so I waited a couple hours before sending her a quick message. I gave her my choice, as well as my phone number (since I didn't have hers). And then the torturous waiting game began again…

**BELLA**

I wrote Carlisle back shortly after I got his message. I was online anyway wondering how soon Edward would get back to me. I told him that Mr. Finnegan had touched my hand as we shook on our deal, but that I hadn't read his mind. I also told him that I had hugged Jacob and a few of the others, but nothing like that happened either. He told me about his wanting to test it with other vampires. That made me a little nervous, but I hoped that he knew what he was doing. I guess it didn't really matter what the outcome was. I was stuck with this… whatever it was, so it couldn't hurt to learn as much about it as possible.

When I came back from hunting, I saw Edward's message. I was glad that he played along and picked one of my options. Unfortunately I wasn't feeling brave enough to take that leap. _What would I say to him? Hadn't we already said everything?_ I feared a lot of awkward silences. Maybe I should tell him to stick to email? _Ugh! Quit being such a baby and call him already!_ I took my laptop back into the house and grabbed my phone. It couldn't have rang for more than a second before he answered.

"Bella?" he sounded so relieved.

"Edward. Hi," I added lamely. _God, I was so nervous!_ I found myself pacing from room to room.

"I'm so glad that you called and that you're comfortable with this." I wasn't really, but I can only imagine how much worse this would be in person.

"I can't lie, it's a little awkward. I'm not really sure what to say." I couldn't be sure, but I thought I heard him sigh.

"If you don't want to do this, Bella, it's okay," he sounded sad.

"Edward, I asked what you wanted. Don't step aside gracefully because you're afraid of making me uncomfortable," I'm sure I sounded irritated, but I hoped it didn't come across too angry.

"Yes, this means a lot to me. It's so good to hear your voice. It's different now, but I would know it anywhere."

"I'm still getting used to it myself. It's nice not tripping over absolutely nothing anymore, " I tried to lighten up the conversation. It worked, and he laughed. _God, how I missed that!_ I found myself smiling. It was a good feeling.

"What about the other aspects of your new lifestyle?" I wasn't sure why he was being vague. Habit, probably.

"I miss sleeping. I hate how much free time I have. It's nice not to be such a girl anymore. The strength is awesome. The speed is amazing, but that just adds to the amount of free time I have, so sometimes I don't take advantage of it". I felt like I was talking too much.

"What about hunting?" he asked.

"It's okay I guess. I mean I don't like doing it, but I've come to terms with it." I hadn't given it much thought really. I knew it was something that I had to do, and I already knew it was the lesser of two evils, so I was okay with that. We both stopped talking then. _See, this is what I was afraid of!_

"Bella?" he asked finally.

"Yes?"

"Are you okay?" _How many times had he asked me that before?_ At that moment I thought about looking into his eyes. I thought about what hugging him would feel like now. I wondered if kissing him would be much different. For the first time since I became a vampire, I also thought about _sex_… with _Edward_… I would be blushing now if I was still able. "Bella?" he asked again, clearing concerned.

"I'm here, I was just thinking," I paused. "Um, do you think… would you like… how about…," even as a vampire I was still a loser when it came to stuff like this. "Next time we talk, I'd like to see you, if that's okay." I said in a rush.

"Yes. I'd like that, Bella." He sounded casual about it, but I wondered if he was as anxious about it as I was.

"Okay then. I'll talk to you soon." Now the really awkward part came. _Would he say he loved me? Would I say it back?_

"Alright, Bella. I'll be waiting," he said and hung up. I was both relieved and sad that he hadn't said it. I breathed a sigh of relief. We had talked and I hadn't been a bitch to him. He sincerely sounded apologetic about everything, and we made it through a telephone conversation. I guess things were looking up!


	11. Chapter 11

**EDWARD**

It had been _two weeks_ since Bella and I talked on the phone. I had hoped that we would be meeting shortly after that conversation, but apparently she wasn't ready to see me yet. _What else could I do but wait?_ Staying away from her was becoming harder each day. She emailed three days ago to say that she hadn't forgotten about our plans, and that she was busy lately. _Busy? Doing what?... with whom?_ Again, what else could I do but wait?

I wrote her back and assured her that it was okay – I would wait as long as she wanted me to. I needed _something _though, so I asked if I could call her, or if she would call me again sometime. I was desperate to hear her voice. The last phone call hadn't been the best, but it was _something_. She said that would be fine, but didn't make any definite plans. _So, should just call her, or if I should keep my distance?_ I growled. This was one of the most frustrating situations I had ever been in. I never asked myself why I was doing it. I knew. For love, and for Bella.

**BELLA**

I was nervous. I was anxious. I was terrified. I wanted to see Edward, but there were too many questions. _What if I get angry? What if I hurt him accidentally? What if he says something that really pisses me off and I __**want**__ to hurt him?_ _Well, what if I want to kiss him instead?_ That opened a whole new can of worms. _Can we really just go back to being in a relationship?_ If you can even call what we had before a relationship. You know better than that. Of course I do, but I'm still hurt. _GrrRrr!_

My indecision, combined with my stir-craziness, somehow translated to Jacob through email. He had been visiting a lot more lately, and for that I was extremely grateful. I wanted to venture into town, and take care of a few things, but I was nervous about doing it alone. He, of course, was thrilled that I asked him to go with me. Our first trip was to Starbucks, which was completely ridiculous. It's funny how easy I forget that I don't need food anymore. Oh well, it turned out to be a successful experiment. While I was sort of uncomfortable, I actually think it was more about the looks we were getting and less about the fact that they were all human. I didn't know if it was because we were 'new' in this small town, or if there was something about us (or me) that people were drawn to.

Anyway, we tried other places after that, more for the heck of it than anything. It was clear that I didn't have the urge to kill people. I finally bought some new clothes, more furniture from the used place in town, went to the library (yeah!) and we even went to the movies one night. I felt a lot better about being able to move about the town freely.

One of my goals was to open a bank account. It's kind of hard to do that without the right ID's and stuff. I, Isabella Swan, did something completely illegal! I figured since I was a vampire now and had totally fallen off the map, what was a little identity theft and forged documents really? Once the stuff was mailed to me (_thank you, internet!_), I went to the bank and deposited half of the money I had gotten from the house. I didn't feel comfortable putting all of it in there, just in case. If I needed to leave in a hurry for some reason, I didn't want to be left with nothing.

I tried to forget about my 'date' with Edward. I finally felt guilty and emailed him, and tried to sound casual about the whole thing. I don't know if he bought it or not, but it gave me a little more time. I said it was okay if he called, or that I would call him, so now I was nervous knowing the phone could ring at any moment.

It was about midnight and I was bored out of my mind! I really needed to get some hobbies, or start learning things like the piano or chess, or something. I made a decision to get dressed and wander into town. Maybe something would still be open? I really didn't care what it was at this point, I just wanted to be distracted. I dressed in a jean skirt that hit about mid-thigh and a black short-sleeved t-shirt. I threw on my black heeled sandals (_since I was no longer a klutz_) and walked out the door. Shortly before I entered town it dawned on me that I didn't do anything with my hair or makeup, but oh well. I wasn't looking or a date, just a hobby!

Most everything was closed, but I did find a bar that was open. Of course this little hole-in-the-wall town would have a bar… didn't all small towns? I heard people playing pool, talking, laughing, and I heard music. The stench was awful though, so I paused just outside the door. It smelled like beer, sweat, perfume, cigarettes, and… peanuts? Not exactly mouth watering…

Maybe I could find at least one person that was somewhat interesting, or at least people watch. I made my way inside and sat at a table in the corner. It didn't appear that anyone noticed me enter, so I relaxed a little. At least I knew that I could protect myself if need be. I would have never gone out alone at night, especially to a bar, even if I had been old enough to drink.

The people of forks were pretty average. There was a lot of plaid, a lot of beards and moustaches, and a lot of beer guts. As for the girls, there seemed to be a combination of girl-next-door types and… hookers. Okay, so they probably weren't actually hookers, but you wouldn't know it. They wore way too much makeup and hair spray, and not enough clothing!

There was a small group of people (four couples) dancing to some slow country song I'd never heard before. I glanced around the room again and saw a guy at the bar looking at me. _Ugh!_ _Oh, don't play innocent, you would have to know that any single woman in a bar at midnight was going to get hit on. You asked for it!_ I looked down in hopes that he would take a hint, but of course he didn't. He was tall with curly hair like Jasper's, only it was black. As he came closer, I saw that his eyes were bright blue. He saw that I was looking at him, so he smiled. _What the fuck did I get myself into?_

He was finally at my table, so I looked up at him.

"Care to dance?" _Huh._ I'm not sure what I was expecting, but not that. Do _I want to dance with him? Did I know how to explain the cold skin?_ I hadn't had to make excuses for not eating, drinking or my temperature yet. _Shit_. Clearly I had taken too long to answer. He had bent slightly to see my face, and he looked concerned. "Well, maybe another time then?" I shook my head as I stood up.

"Now's good," I said much more calmly than I felt. He smiled, but still looked concerned. I followed him out to the dance floor, just in time for the music to change to something way more upbeat. _Well, I was supposedly more coordinated now, maybe I wouldn't make a fool of myself? _At least that didn't involve much touching.

I mimicked the other girls' movements to the music. Nobody was staring at me like I was a freak doing the chicken-dance or anything, so I assumed it was okay. I wasn't exactly an expert, but I thought he was a good dancer. _He?_ _Fuck, I hadn't even asked his name_. I leaned closer to him, and asked what his name was. Greg. I told him my name was Izzie, which is what I had been going by officially (rental agreement, library card, bank account, etc.). It was close enough to Isabella to be comfortable, but far enough away that it was a reminder that life was different now.

We danced a couple of songs, and I was really having a good time. He hadn't tried anything, and it was so nice to fit in and be normal. I hadn't crashed into anyone or made a fool of myself yet. It dawned on me that my phone was ringing. I held up a finger to signal that I'd just be a minute, as I made my way out of the club. _Edward. Should I answer it?_ It was pretty late, there might be a problem. If I didn't answer, he might be worried that I was in trouble or mad at him all over again.

"Hello," I said loudly, forgetting that his hearing was as good as mine. He would have no trouble hearing me over the background noise.

"Bella? Are you okay?" he sounded worried.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be? I should be asking you the same thing. It's late." Okay, so I know technically it wasn't since vampires don't sleep, but it just seemed odd to call someone now if it wasn't life and death, you know?

"I'm sorry, I just thought… you know… since we don't sleep, that now… " he sighed and gave up. "If it's a bad time-," he started, but I interrupted him.

"No, it's okay. Just give me a minute to say goodbye." I knew I didn't owe Greg anything, but who knows, if I got bored more often, I might see him again. I didn't want to burn any bridges, you know? I went back inside and found him easily enough. He had his back to me so I placed my hand on his shoulder and he turned around. His face lit up with a bright smile.

"I'm sorry, I have to go now. Thank you for the dance," I smiled back.

"Maybe I'll see you again sometime?" Maybe, like I said, who knew what the future held, but I knew I had a lot of fucking time to fill.

"Maybe," I said casually as I walked out of the club.

"Okay, I'm on my way back now, so I can talk." Edward was silent. I checked my phone to make sure we hadn't been disconnected. We hadn't, so that must mean… what? _Was he mad?... or jealous? Men!_

"Edward, are you there?" I tried again.

"Bella. Where are you?" His voice was deeper, and strained.

"I was at a pool hall in town." Pool hall sounds better than bar, right? It wasn't _technically_ a lie.

"Are you… was he… that guy," Edward sighed again, loudly.

"It wasn't a date or anything if that's what you're trying to ask me. I was bored at home alone, so I went to town to see what was open. I found this place, went inside, and he asked me to dance. I tried it to see if I could actually do it without injuring myself or others. He kept his hands, and lips, to himself. Are you happy now?" _Okay, so the bitch was back._

"Yes. I'm sorry, Bella. I know you can take care of yourself, and you don't owe me any explanations, I just worry about you. I can't help it." Now I felt bad. I knew he was in love with me, so just the thought of being close to other guys probably pissed him off. "I guess I just wished you would have called me".

"It was an impulsive decision. I didn't really think about it, I just got dressed and went. I didn't not call you, you know?" _Please understand, Edward. I don't want to fight with you about this._

"Okay. So you're bored, huh?" he said and I could hear the teasing in his voice.

"Extremely! I don't know how you do it. I've watched a ton of shows and movies on Netflix, I think I've seen every YouTube video at least once, I've been to almost every store in town… I need more!" He chuckled during my little rant.

"You'll get used to it, really. You'll pick up things you like to do, and you'll get into more of a routine. You could always go to school, or even get a job if you wanted. You don't have to stay cooped up in your house or even that little town, Bella." I couldn't do that though. Even if Edward and I did get back together, I couldn't go back to Forks. It was risky, and there were too many memories. I couldn't ask the Cullen family to move again, and I wouldn't be responsible for separating Edward from them.

"Yeah, maybe I'll look into work or taking classes. Even online classes would keep me busy with homework and stuff. Am I seriously volunteering to go back to high school? I must be a fucktard." _Oops._ I cringed as that word left my mouth. He laughed.

"Fucktard?" _Oh my, Edward swore!_

"Umm, yeah, it's short for fucking retard." I couldn't believe I just said that to him. I smacked myself in the forehead. "Sorry, I guess I've spent too much time with Jake and the gang lately. Apparently some of it wore off on me."

"He's been a really good friend to you, hasn't he?" Edward asked quietly. I wasn't sure I liked the direction this conversation was going, but there was only one way to find out.

"Yeah, he really has. He looked for me when everyone else gave up. He's helped me with Charlie's, getting money and necessities, and lately he's been with me so I could test myself in town. I don't know what I would have done without him." He may not like it, but I wasn't going to hide my friendship with Jacob.

"I'm glad, Bella." I smiled, and relaxed a little. I was worried he wouldn't understand why I still needed him.

"Edward?" _No way. Don't do this. You're not ready._

"Bella?"

"What are you doing tomorrow?" I heard him inhale.

"Nothing. Why?" If I were human, my heart would be beating frantically. I was so nervous.

"Do you want to come over?" _There. I said it._ I meant it… but I was still nervous.

"Bella?" _Hmm._ He didn't answer me. _Did he not want to see me?_

"Edward?" I copied his tone.

"What are you doing tonight?" I gasped. A good thirty seconds passed while I thought about it.

"Nothing. Why?" _Finally!_

"I'm leaving now," and he hung up. He hadn't waited for my answer. _Was he worried that I would tell him no, or was he not taking no for an answer?_ I ran the rest of the way home, straightened up the place, took a shower, and got ready. What else could I do but wait?


	12. Chapter 12

**EDWARD**

_I was going to see Bella!_ I had showered, dressed, and made it halfway to her house already. The nerves were starting to kick in. Up to now, I had been so excited and just couldn't wait to get there. The first half of the trip went very quickly. Now though, I was worried about what was going to happen. I knew it wasn't likely that she would just fall into my arms and everything would be as it should be. _But I could hope, right? _

It was going to be hard to be so close to her and not touch her. Sure, I had shown a great deal of restraint before, but it's been so long. I hurt her so much that I want nothing more than to cradle her against me and fix this. She has to make the first move. _You have to wait for her. Keep your hands, and your lips, to yourself. Easier said than done…_

As I made my way into town, I slowed my pace and walked quickly to her house. The lights were on but I didn't see her through the windows as I approached the front door. I knocked quietly on the door and took a deep breath.

**BELLA**

I could hear Edward as he walked through the yard to my house. I chewed nervously on my lip as I sat on the arm of the couch. It seemed strange to wear anything but sleep wear since it was the middle of the night. It was going to take a while before my old habits were broken. I had decided on a tank top and comfy sleep pants. This was going to be awkward enough without trying to dress up for him. I left my hair down because it somehow gave me comfort (and it had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he loves it that way). _Sure_.

He knocked softly and I quickly moved to the door. I'm still surprised sometimes when I don't trip. That's also going to take some getting used to! I opened to door and he smiled at me. _God, how I've missed that. When was the last time I saw him smile?_ I couldn't remember. I gave him a small smile in return and opened the door to let him inside.

When I turned around after shutting the door, he was facing me.

"Bella," his voice was so soft.

"Edward," I said just as quietly and he smiled again. "Hi," I finished lamely. I knew this was going to happen, which is why I had put off seeing him again. I know I wanted him, though he clearly wasn't sure I did anymore. _What now?_ "You want the grand tour?" I said trying to lighten the mood. He smiled again and nodded. "Well, this is the living room," I said as I motioned with my left hand. "This is the kitchen and dining area," I said as I motioned with my right hand." I walked past him, so close that our arms almost touched, and went into the room on the left to turn the light on. "This is my bedroom," I only stayed a few seconds before walking past him again. "This is the bathroom," again just walking past. "And this is my… um… "keep Bella from going completely nuts" room." I was smiling now, but I hadn't looked at him since I walked past him to the bedroom.

"That has a nice ring to it," he said and then laughed quietly. I watched as he moved into the room to look around. He thought I was kidding, but I had stocked the room with lots of random activities. There were books everywhere, of course, my laptop, DVD's, cards, puzzles, radio, etc. All things that I could do on my own, especially at night, to keep me occupied.

I left him there and went to sit on the couch. I sat in the middle wondering if he would sit on either side of me, or if he would sit in the chair instead. _Did you want him to sit next to you? Are you prepared for what that's going to mean? You know you can't be that close to him now that you're not so pissed without touching him._ I prepared myself for the possibility that he would sit in the chair, but I knew he cared, so he may do that to make me more comfortable. _Or maybe it would be because he wouldn't be able to sit so close without touching me either?_ This little mantra was not helping my nerves. I looked up to see him turn off the light and head toward the living room. He was looking at me, but I couldn't sense what his decision was going to be.

As he moved closer, I looked down at my hands in my lap and waited. He sat down next to me on the couch, and I couldn't help but bite my lip and look up at him. _Okay, really, what now_? It would be so easy just to lean over and kiss him.

"Do you like it here, Bella?" His question surprised me, but I welcomed the distraction.

"Yeah, I mean… it's growing on me. It helps that it's not so empty anymore. Fixing up the house and finding things to put in it have given me something to do at least. I do miss… people, but my recent trips to town have been successful, so I'm hoping that will help too." He nodded.

"You've made a lot of changes since I was here last. It's nice. It fits you."

"Well, it's no mansion like your house, but yeah, this is definitely more me." I smiled at him. His eyes never left my face, but he was so hard to read. I just kept babbling in hopes of keeping the awkward silence at bay a little longer. "It's turning out to be a nice little town. It's a lot like Forks, I guess. There's not a lot here, but it's not that far from a larger city either, you know?"

He nodded again but was quiet. I bit my lip again and just thought about what I could do to make this uneasy feeling go away. I didn't like not being comfortable around him. The hand closest to me was resting on his leg palm down. I had a feeling that he wasn't going to do anything without some indication from me that it was okay. I could reach out and take my hand in his. I think that simple gesture would show him quite a bit.

"Anything, Bella. I mean it," I looked up at him quickly. "Whatever you're thinking, I'll do it. Whatever you want, it's yours," he said and I believed him. If I asked him to walk away and never come back, he would do it, because he thought that's what I wanted. I slowly reached my hand out and placed it on top of his, curling my fingers under to touch his palm. I closed my eyes as the emotions washed over me.

I felt love, longing, sadness, and anxiousness. _How could I have forgotten about this part?_ It took me a minute to remember about my ability. His emotions so closely mirrored my own that I didn't realize what had happened at first. I felt guilty now. He must think that I wanted that, to see firsthand how he was feeling, like I didn't believe what he had told me.

"I didn't mean… I'm sorry," I said in frustration. "I only wanted to hold your hand. I wasn't thinking," I said as I started to stand up. He placed his other hand on top of mine and urged me back down.

"It's okay, Bella, either way. I told you I would do anything," his thumbs were softly rubbing my hands and it was very distracting, but definitely not unwelcome. _Quit being so stubborn. You want Edward, and he's sitting right here… finally. Do you really want all of eternity without him? Don't be stupid!_

I slowly pulled my hand from his. He looked disappointed, but didn't try to stop me. Before I could stop _myself_, I told him to close his eyes. He complied instantly and I brought the fingertips of both hands up to his face. I ran them downward from his temples to his jaw. The second time I touched him, my fingertips trailed from his forehead, across his eyelids, his cheeks, down his neck and to the neckline of his t-shirt. I felt him shudder, but he didn't open his eyes.

I wanted to kiss him, but couldn't bring myself to do it yet. As a poor substitute, I pressed both palms to the sides of his face. Giving him time to stop me if he wanted, I dragged my thumbs from the middle of his cheeks toward his lips. He hadn't moved at all, so I continued. Both thumbs caressed his lower lip and his lips parted, most likely involuntarily. I could feel his breath and it made _me_ shudder.

I moved to kneel on the couch next to him and he remained still, though he was breathing heavier in anticipation. I then placed a hand on each side of his neck and slid my hands slowly up into his hair. It was softer than a remembered. _Was that because it had been so long since I touched it or because my senses were heightened? Who cares, Bella… snap out of it!_

I reached for the hands and he let me take them from his lap. I felt love and lust… so again his emotions mirrored my own. It gave me the confidence to keep going. I placed his hands on either side of me, and mine quickly retraced the path from his neck and into his hair until my arms were wrapped around him. I heard him inhale deeply and his strong arms and hands pulled me even closer to him. His face nuzzled in my hair along my neck. I didn't ever remember the feel of his breathing being such a turn on before, but it was incredibly erotic now.

"I'm sorry," he whispered as he placed a soft kiss on my neck where Victoria had bitten me.

"I know," was all I could think of to say to that. My mind was clouded with images of us together, both memories and daydreams of mine. I was having a hard time believing that this was real.

I pulled back a little and he followed my lead. His eyes were closed again and I wondered if he was afraid I was stopping, much like I had always dreaded when we were together before. Instead of disappointing him, I lightly scraped my fingernails through his hair to the soft skin below his ear. His lips parted again, and this time I couldn't resist his silent invitation.

I leaned forward slowly and realized that he wasn't the only one breathing heavy. I hadn't noticed it until now. I closed my eyes as my lips found his. They were warmer than I remembered, but impossibly softer. He kissed me back gently and sweetly. After a few minutes, I pressed my lips more firmly to his. He responded like I hoped and his hands pressed me even closer. I opened my mouth just enough to slide my tongue along his bottom lip. He gasped and I opened my eyes to find him looking at me with such an intense passion. I was afraid that maybe he wasn't ready, but I was obviously wrong. He closed his eyes again, and I took it as a green light. I placed a few more open mouth kisses on his lips before teasing him with my tongue again.

When his own peeked out to meet mine I lost it. We had never been able to do this before and I had so desperately wanted it. I moved one leg across his lap so that I was now straddling him. _I tried not to think about the implications of that little action and instead focused on the fact that I was kissing Edward! _

_

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_**A/N: Not an ideal spot for a time out, sorry! I was bitten by this really mean flu bug, and it's dragged me down for two days now. I wanted to post something, but this was all I have so far (I post as I write). **_  
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	13. Chapter 13

**EDWARD**

_I was kissing Bella! _Well, truthfully, we had moved _beyond_ that now, but I was still trying to catch up.

When I saw her move to sit in the middle of the couch I was torn. I desperately wanted to be close to her, but I didn't want to step over any boundaries either. The _last thing_ I wanted was to upset her. In the end, I decided to sit next to her, but not too close.

I couldn't get over how beautiful she was and how much I loved hearing her voice. Her shy smiles reminded me of happier times that I hoped we would soon have again. I could see that she was struggling, and I honestly told her that she could have anything. When she took my hand was the happiest moment I could remember in a long time.

What happened after that was… _intense_. She removed her hand from mine and I was crushed, but prepared to leave if she asked. As I let her touch my face and run her fingers through my hair, I felt my control crumbling. Once she silently gave me permission to cradle her to me, I didn't waste any time.

And her lips... _Wow_. It had been so long since we kissed. Of course I had missed it, but I missed _Bella_ more. Now she was in my arms, straddling my lap, and I was in heaven. Her tongue did sinful things to mine, and I was loving every minute of it. Neither one of us needed to breathe, so we could do this for hours. _Yes, please!_

I slid my hands up her back so that my fingers curled over her shoulders. I brought her chest flush with mine and we both groaned. Her hands tangled in my hair again and she pulled so that my head was forced back against the couch. Her body followed mine and she was leaning on me slightly now.

Bella's mouth left mine, but before I could protest, her lips moved to my cheek, to my jaw, and up to my ear. _Oh, God_. The feeling of her breath along my ear and my neck was too much. _Manly or not, I whimpered. That's the only word I can think of for the sound that just left me._ My hands left her back and moved to wrap around her hips. I rested them there for as long as I could stand it before I dragged them forward against mine. The contact was unbelievable. I groaned and she gasped, but quickly resumed her task of driving me crazy with warm, wet kisses along my neck.

"Bella," I whispered. I didn't know what I wanted, I just needed… _something_. She pulled back to look at me. Her hair was perfectly tousled and her lips were darker. I pushed my hands through her hair like she had done to me, and encouraged her to tip her head back. _My turn!_

**BELLA**

I watched as Edward smirked and leaned down to place a firm, open mouthed kiss against my lips. _This has gotten way out of hand, and I wasn't about to do anything to stop it._ I never could control myself with Edward in this way. The knowledge that we could do absolutely anything, and _everything_, did not go unnoticed by me. _We were alone, we were equals, and we were in love._

Edward rubbed the soft skin of his cheek against mine before slowly moving his face to where my neck and my shoulder meet. He kissed me there twice before I felt his hands leave my hair and move to the straps of my tank top. He looked at me then and I nodded. His fingers gently slid the straps of my tank top and bra aside. The shirt was firmly in place, for now, but my shoulders were bare. My hands grasped the hem of his t-shirt and I quirked an eyebrow at him. He smiled at me and that was all the answer I needed. I pulled the shirt up over his head and dropped it on the floor.

There was no denying that Edward's chest and stomach were incredibly sexy, but it was really all of the exposed skin that I found so alluring. I rarely had such an opportunity to see him like this. He leaned forward and continued kissing my neck, my collarbone, and along my shoulders. He nipped at my earlobe and I rolled my hips against his without a second thought. The effect was amazing and I wanted to do it over and over again… _so I did_. His hands were gripping my hips now as I moved against him. After a few more times his hands moved up my sides, taking my shirt with them. They stopped as his fingertips brushed against my bra.

It was decision time. _Did I want to stop this now before we went too far? What exactly was too far when we wanted each other like this? _Despite the fact that I could no longer blush, the nervousness and embarrassment hadn't gone anywhere. _Was I prepared for him to see more of me?_

I answered my own questions as I raised my arms above my head and met his eyes. He was staring at me, and I wondered if he had the same thought about crossing that invisible line right now.

**EDWARD**

When my fingers brushed against Bella's bra and she pulled back, I didn't know if I should be disappointed or relieved. I wanted Bella, there was no doubt about it. If she wanted me to make love to her tonight I would. I was just worried about her. _Was it too soon for her?_ She raised her arms over her head and I knew she had made a decision. I just hoped it was the right one for her at the present time. _I could deny her nothing_.

I tugged the shirt up and over her head gently. I watched as her hair fell down around her shoulders and in front of her breasts. Her bra was simple and a sweet shade of pink and the straps were still down her arms. He seemed shy now, and my staring at her probably didn't help. _I missed her blush_. I pressed my palms firmly against the bare skin of her back and started placing kisses along her jaw, neck, collarbone, and finally, the tops of her breasts. I felt her quiver and grinned as I used my tongue to lightly trace along her skin following the top edge of the bra. I stilled momentarily as her hips pressed against mine again. I then used my fingertips to trace along that same top line of her bra.

I couldn't resist touching her. I gently placed my hands against her so that I was cupping her breasts. I added more pressure and kneaded the soft flesh beneath her bra and she rolled her hips and moaned loudly. _That sound… that's my goal for tonight. I wanted to make her do that again and again._ I snapped out of it as I heard her bra unclasp. The only thing holding it up was my hands. She slid her own hands into my hair again and I moved my hands enough for the garment to fall away. Her breasts were beautiful, like the rest of her, but I didn't dwell on that. There would be time for that later. My hands resumed their position and _my_ hips pressed into her this time. She felt so good. Squeezing her breasts in my hands and feeling her body rub against mine was almost too much.

_I wanted us to be naked and in this position. I wanted to press my body on top of hers._ I settled those urges by leaning forward to kiss her bare breasts. I kissed them wetly several times before using my tongue, and then finally closing my mouth over each. Her hips were relentless now. Gone were there sporadic thrusts… it was a constant motion now. Bella was squirming on my lap, and I was helpless to stop her. I had to do _something_ though or I was going to lose it before I even lost my pants.

I moved my hands to her hips and held them away from mine. She whimpered in protest but let me hold her there. I didn't delude myself in thinking she could move if she wanted to. _She was still stronger than me._

I kissed her lips and brought us chest to chest again. The feeling of her bare chest against mine was incredibly satisfying. Her hands were still in my hair and I kept mine on her hips as we kissed deeply. When I was calmed down again, I pushed her hips further away from mine and whispered, "Stand up, love." She looked at me curiously but did as I asked.

I leaned forward just enough to slip my thumbs into the waistband of her pants. I waited for her nod of approval before I pulled them down her legs. I held her hips as she stepped out of them. She stood before me now in just her panties, which were the same pretty shade of pink as her bra. I gazed at her slim hips, her thighs, and the shape of her through her panties. I hoped to hell that I would be able to make it through this without embarrassing myself. I tugged her to me and watched as she straddled my hips again.

**BELLA**

_I was going to die_. I couldn't breathe. I was extremely hot, although I could no longer sweat. The feel of his hands, mouth and tongue on the sensitive skin of my breasts was almost too much. I couldn't help but press against him. _I needed him._ I wanted him to finish what he started for once.

I couldn't believe it was his idea to take off my pants. I had felt a little self-conscious as I let his eyes wander over my body, but I quickly shrugged it off. My head was clouded with lust and I followed it blindly.

When I climbed back onto his lap, I was not prepared for what I felt. The feel of _Edward_ combined with the crotch of his jeans rubbing against the thin silk of my panties was unbelievably good. Edward moved his hips up to meet mine. My mind instantly wandered. I was thinking about seeing him perform that same motion as we were naked. _If this felt this good, I couldn't imagine how I would live through the delicious torture of sex with him. _

One of his hands pressed against my lower back with his fingers splayed. He helped me move against him and I arched my back. My breathing was out of control. I was making tons of little noises that I was incapable of stopping.

"_Edward_," I whispered. I couldn't say the words, but I wanted him to know what he was doing to me. I wanted him to know what was about to happen.

"Mmm, _yes_," was all I heard. His hands moved to my thighs for a moment before he reached forward until his thumbs were resting in front of my hips, and his fingers were under the back of my panties. Went I felt Edward's hand grip my ass and pull me towards him, I lost it. I closed my eyes clutched him tightly.

"Ooh, Edward. Oh, God!" I said breathlessly as I let myself go. _My first Edward-induced orgasm. I would never have too many of those! _I had masturbated before, especially the times Edward got me so worked up and then pulled back, but it had never felt as good as this. _Hot damn!_

I leaned forward and kissed him softly. He cradled me against him and stood up, heading toward the bedroom. He laid me down and I closed my eyes. I was afraid he was going to leave now.

Seconds later he climbed into my bed in just his boxers. I could pretend that he was just going to hold me tonight like he used to, but the fact that we were in bed together (_in just our underwear, I might add_) did little to calm my nerves. I wanted him, I was just nervous about being able to make him feel as good as I felt right now. I pushed the thoughts away as I snuggled against him.

I knew I had options as to how I could please him, up to and including sex,, _I just had to decide what I wanted… _


	14. Author's Note

Sorry this isn't an actual update (yet)!

I can't believe it's been so long since I updated... I'm very sorry for the delay! Thanks to those of you that have emailed me requesting that I finish this.

I am going to seriously work on finishing this story this month. I'm only anticipating a few more chapters.


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